LyrInt Blog

Never Live It Down : Notable Career-Killing Moments In Music

Penguin Pete — Sun, 28 Apr 2013 21:35:00 -0400

Sure, everybody has a bad day. But in the performing arts, one bad day could be all it takes to wipe out your previous fame and make you, in the eyes of the public, a rat's whisker away from the sewer of obscurity once again. Here, some music celebrities who fell from grace, and the sleds they rode on the way on down...

Ashlee Simpson

What killed her: One bad button press

How about you get caught lip-synching on your big live TV break? That's what happened to Simpson, whose background tape started playing the wrong song during her 2004 Saturday Night Live onstage performance. She followed this up with an equally awkward performance at a football game, where her off-key singing drew boos from the stands. Her career was down for a one-two count, despite having had a platinum-selling album Autobiography in 2004 and having her own reality show on MTV. Here's where we'll mention Milli Vanilli and their 1990 humiliation, because they don't rate their own paragraph even in this article.

Sepultura

What killed them: Switching lead singers

Here is Sepultra under Max Cavalera with their 1986 hit "Troops of Doom":

Now here's the same band under Derrick Green in 1998 (with "Against" from the album of the same name):

Now, you still have to say it sounds damned good... but the vocals definitely turned off their old fan base. It completely changes the sound as soon as the vocals kick in. You can clearly see the effect of Cavalera's departure on the band's chart history: single-digit singles charting and platinum and gold selling albums before; dead air after. By the way, Cavalera had a personal tragedy in the family only months before a personnel dispute drove him to quit, so maybe you could go easy on the guy, hey?

Happy Mondays

What killed them: Fear and Loathing in Barbados

Happy Mondays had a pair of #5 charting hits on the UK Singles pole - "Kinky Afro" and "Step On"... (we hunted down the original MTV video just for you)

- and then began recording the fateful Yes Please!, which went so far over schedule and budget that their label, Factory Records, went bankrupt. Meanwhile the story of the actual recording on the isle of Barbados reads like a Hunter S. Thompson story: trying to shake heroin addiction, ended up with a crack addiction, living in the swimming pool under furniture forts, selling all the furniture to pay for more crack, broken arm, paragliding, holding the masters hostage while demanding more money from the label, and did we mention that they forgot to write any lyrics? Happy Mondays wouldn't release another studio album 'til 2007. Gee, wonder why?

Dexys Midnight Runners

What killed them: They couldn't come up with another "Come On Eileen."

In one of the most fated one-hit-wonder stories ever, "Come On Eileen" took the Midnight Runners to the top of the charts worldwide, darned near defining the sound of the year 1983. Then they took two years producing their next album... can you see this coming? Instead of radio-friendly bubblegum pop, Don't Stand Me Down album was experimental, slow, soulful, thinky, long-haired, progressive...

The fans were not content. This album, which clearly did not have a "Come On Eileen" on it, was abandoned in droves, and the Midnight Runners Dexy sank like rocks soon after.

Last but least... Phil Spector

What killed him: A bad reaction between "River Deep - Mountain High" and the rats already gnawing at his brain's wiring.

Phil Spector, history has proven out, is a man haunted by demons, no mistake. And more than one biographer (chief among them Michael Billig) has opined that the point where he began his long descent was the day he walked into the recording studio with Tina Turner to record "River Deep - Mountain High." It was a troubled production already, what with having to pay two hundred grand to Ike Turner just to stay away from the studio. But the single failed to chart in the US, and Spector, who had had so much success before that he could basically rest on his laurels for the rest of his life, withdrew from the music business altogether and turned to the obsessions that would lead in a straight line to putting a bullet in Lana Clarkson's head.

Bewildering Lead Singles

Jon O'Brien — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 15:48:00 -0400

It's not yet quite clear whether "Bow Down/I Been On" is a proper single or simply a teaser for her upcoming fifth album. But it's fair to say that the newly-unveiled track is undoubtedly one of the most bewildering moves of Beyonce's career. The "Harlem Shake"-esque intro, the aggressive, almost megalomaniacal response to both her admirers and haters ("I know when you were little girls you dreamt of being in my world. Don't forget it. Respect that. Bow Down bitches"), that at various points is chopped and screwed up beyond all recognition, the mid-song change to the medieval classical backdrop of her O2 ad campaign - to call it deranged would be putting it mildly. But she's not the only mainstream artist to shock everyone with the first glimpse of new material. Here's a look at five other utterly bewildering lead singles to have emerged since the turn of the century.

Mariah Carey-- "Loverboy"

2001 was an 'annus horribilis' for Mariah Carey. Previously regarded as the ultimate diva in pop, she then became a laughing stock thanks to an erratic appearance on MTV's Total Request Live and a big-screen debut that made Showgirls look like Citizen Kane, before it was revealed that in fact, she was in the midst of a physical and emotional breakdown. Even with all that, it was the lead single from her equally disastrous eighth studio album, Glitter, that has remained the nadir of her career. A tune-free mess where Carey's usual ear-piercing tones appear to have been shunted onto a completely different song altogether, "Loverboy" was such a car-crash of a song that it virtually derailed her career for half a decade.

Tom Jones-- "Tom Jones International"

Tom Jones' career has had more lives than a clowder of cats, which perhaps explains why the Welshman thought he was so invincible he could get away with such an embarrassment as "Tom Jones International." Destroying all the goodwill he'd built up with 1999 duets collection, Reload, in one foul swoop, this Wyclef Jean-produced track tried to reposition the then 61-year-old as a 'hip and happening' R&B ladies' man. But instead he resembled a hopelessly out-of-touch grandfather figure trying to get down with the kids. Horrendous on every level.

Robbie Williams-- "Rudebox"

Before 2006, Robbie Williams seemed untouchable. But the theory that he could even record a cover of "The Birdie Song" and watch it sail effortlessly to the top of the charts kind of fell down when the title track lead single from his 'dance' album left the mouths of even his most ardent fans gaping wide. The former Take That star might have thought the Sly & Robbie sample would have at least ensured a little credibility to his 80s hip-hop homage. But his bizarre stream-of-consciousness rap ("TK Maxx costs less, yes, Jackson looks a mess, bless") suggested that Vanilla Ice was the only MC he'd ever heard.

Sugababes-- "Get Sexy"

Famed for their revolving door line-up policy, Sugababes had quite effortlessly become the coolest girlband Britain had ever produced, largely thanks to a stylish mix of R&B, pop, electro and soul which avoided the factory line production of their peers, but also due to their refusal to pander to the whole men's magazine market. But perhaps aware that Girls Aloud had taken their crown, Heidi, Keisha and Amelle resorted to hugely desperate measures for their 2009 comeback single. Featuring a trashy synth-hook that even will.i.am would reject for being too brainless and a sample of Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy," "Get Sexy" was the complete antithesis to everything they had previously stood for, as was its revealing video which pretty much proved to be the final nail in their coffin.

Kate Nash-- "Under-Estimate The Girl"

Instrumental in the success of the whole Mockney-pop scene of the mid-00s, Kate Nash initially appeared to be a convincing rival for Lily Allen with her 'bitter/fitter' rhymes and oddball confessional tales. But after a disappointing retro-soul sophomore, she changed tact completely for her third album, Girl Talk, by going all riot grrrl. Unfortunately, teaser track "Under-Estimate The Girl," apparently written and recorded in less than 24 hours, sounded exactly like what you'd expect a BRIT School graduate pretending to be a bratty and rebellious 90s feminist to sound like and was immediately met with a response of 'is this a joke?' Sadly, it was all for real.

California-Fried Country Rock

Penguin Pete — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 18:26:00 -0400

With the name "Flying Burrito Brothers," it sounds like they should be on Cartoon Network's [adult swim], wielding a sour-cream sledge, a salsa shotgun, and a bean blaster in their crime-fighting battle against the Evil Onionhead and the Guacamole Gaucho.

No, there really was such a band. Here they are, in the fleshy, with their song "Sin City":

You must be wondering if we're dragging you off on one of our wild tangents into the dark ghettos of music where we end up tormenting you with screechy outsider art from UBUWeb. Oh, no. We're going to show you how country music in the United States (now the bedrock of Neocon Reaganite Randroid America) has its roots in the weird, liberal, counter-cultural hippie movement, and got adopted by people with Mitt Romney bumper stickers on their Ford F150s only after waiting a respectable time for country rock to shed its buckskin leather smell.

And besides, have you noticed that none of the rock blogs on the web talk about country music? Nuts to that! Let's shatter that wall.

Here's a brief bio about the Flying Burrito Brothers on ByrdWatcher, and right there that should be a tip that the Byrds are somehow involved. Specifically, guitar+vocals lead Gram Parsons was a Byrd before he was a Burrito, at the fourth line-up of the Byrds. Gram Parsons was a character so larger-than-life that it's a shame we won't have space to say much more about him than here's a video of the full album of the Byrds' Sweetheart of the Rodeo under Gram's tutelage:

...and link you to the Straight Dope file on Gram Parsons' bizarre end. You never get to the end of the strange stories about Gram Parsons.

As Frank Moriarty put it in chapter 7 of his master work Seventies Rock: The Decade of Creative Chaos, the Byrds "brought an exciting rock sensibility to the no-frills framework of folk music." And also, Byrd Chris Hillman and Burrito Gram Parsons were in tight as good buddies.

Now if the Byrds don't have blue-state cred enough for you, who's one of the most left-leaning rock stars you can think of? Perhaps Neil Young? Yes, Mr. Golden Harvest himself, has a hook in here, because he played with Cosby Stills Nash & Young, and David Crosby was also a Byrd. Also, after the split with Young, Stills formed his own Stephen Stills Band, four of the members of which (including him) teamed up with pedal steel guitarist Al Perkins and bassist Chris Hillman - from Flying Burrito Brothers - to form Stephen Stills' Manassas. Here's all of that in some rare TV footage:

You can still hear the influence. Country rock comes from a union of folk and Western rock forms. And what we call "country and western" today really comes more from country rock than anything else, even though it's slowed down to ballad tempo now and has all the weepy lyrics about losing the farms in the heartland.

Stills is also connected to Al Kooper, a name you're far more familiar with from the Bob Dylan tribe. But here again, we have to skip over a lot of fun detail and post a full album play of the highly-sought after collector's album Super Session, with Al Kooper, Stephen Stills, and Mike Bloomfield. Never noticed that connection, did you?

Check the second half of that album, starting at about the 29 minute mark. The shift from Bloomfield's heavy blues to Stills' country rock makes this sound like two different albums spliced together, and yet Kooper manages to provide just enough adaptability to bridge the gap. It's an amazing album with even more amazing stories behind it.

According to page 133 of Al Kooper's autobiography Backstage Passes and Backstabbing Bastards, when Mike Bloomfield flaked out of the recording sessions with Kooper, he was desperately sweating a replacement and had to wing a negotiated deal between his label (Columbia) and Stills' label (Atlantic) to come finish out the album - in exchange, Columbia had to lend out Graham Nash (also a member of the Hollies) to the first lineup of Crosby Stills and Nash.

While we're on Young and Stills (and in case anybody doubts the counter-culture roots of today's conservative country), don't forget that Young and Stills were also the most integral parts of Buffalo Springfield. You young 'uns might still not know who we're talking about, so here's that song you hear in movies about the '60s:

Go in the other direction from Neil Young, and follow guitarist+vocalist Bernie Leadon from the last gasp of the Flying Burrito Brothers to joining with Glenn Fry, Randy Meisner, and Don Henley to form the Eagles - and remember that Linda Ronstadt was part of that genesis story. Leadon is right here on the Eagles' first self-titled album, with "Take It Easy":

Now you have a couple more famous, Billboard-charting songs, so you should recognize them. But you can also definitely hear modern country music in "Take It Easy." And yet, it still contains just a dash of Burrito and Byrd and Buffalo. We're a long way from [adult swim] now.

OK, now to wind things up: How did country music start out born from the bosom of the counter-culture, and end up sewn into the jean-stitched hip pocket of our modern American cowboy? Simply put: The Baby Boomers grew up. They left the left and united with the right, long about the 1980s or so - coincidentally, right when they hit middle age and started thinking more about their retirement than their protests. Country music had no choice but to move with them or lose their base, and after a while, the new generation took over, pulling country's center from California to Texas.

Don't let it happen to you.

Kenneth Anger Is a Link Between Led Zeppelin and Charles Manson

Penguin Pete — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 18:03:00 -0400

We've been meaning to cover the musical aspects of a couple of short films of underground film-maker Kenneth Anger. Anger, currently age 86 living in Santa Monica, California, has hoarded his secrets long enough. And his last name is very apt. But frankly, we just never can bring ourselves to get around to his work, because he's just too damned weird.

Now when we say "weird"... We've previously blogged about the askew universe of Sun Ra, but even though he was weird, he makes sense. Sun Ra was crazy, but consistently crazy.

Kenneth Anger, however, chopped out two Hollywood Babylon books, made a bunch of experimental films, rolled around to his hedonistic heart's content in the drug scene, palled it up with Church of Satan founder Anton LaVey (who named Anger as godfather to his own daughter), threw paint at Andy Warhol's house, ran his own obituary in a 1967 issue of the Village Voice, came "back from the dead" declaring that he'd destroyed all his old work, retired, came back... you get the idea. You can't take his word for the air it isn't printed on.

Oh, well. First, here's the easy one, Scorpio Rising (1963):

Depending on how much of that you just watched, you should realize that Mr. Anger has a bit of the fondness for the boys. Specifically biker boys, showing endless drooling pans across luscious stud-muffin Bruce Byron getting dressed... and dressed... and DRESSED in hunky biker leather duds and wrenching on his iron horse. If you weren't gay before you watched this, you sure as hell are now.

But what makes it notable is the all-star soundtrack, whose copyright would set lawyers to bodily combust were it attempted today: Ricky Nelson, Peggy March, The Angels, Bobby Vinton, Elvis Presley, Ray Charles, Martha Reeves and the Vandellas, The Crystals, Claudine Clark, Kris Jensen, Gene McDaniels, The Surfaris, and The Shangri-Las. You can pick up your jaw now.

Oh, but we have miles to go! We did say something about Led Zeppelin and Charles Manson back there. Getting to our central piece, here's Lucifer Rising (1980):

Credit: "Music by Bobby Beausoleil" - That's aka "Cupid," part of the Manson gang, currently serving a life sentence for Murder One in San Quentin. Like Manson himself, Beausoleil was an aspiring musician, and he was contracted by Anger to do the soundtrack for this short film - a task he was to honor from within prison walls. In between arrest and completion, Anger tried to get Jimmy Page - who showed up to work - but later had disagreements with Anger (by all reports, Kenneth Anger was not an easy guy to get along with). So Beausoleil ended up doing the work anyway. Page still appears in this film (and lately his original soundtrack was released in 2012), as does Beausoleil, as does Chris Jagger (brother to Rolling Stones' Mick Jagger), and Stones' protege, British singer Marianne Faithfull.

The film itself? A mish-mosh of Satanic, Egyptian, Abrahamic, Druidic (or whoever built henge), and New Age themes. Apparently Lucifer is so old and established that he's invoked by mixing all the old religions. No dialog, as with all Anger's projects. This leaves us free to meditate upon curiosities like Osiris and Isis saluting each other with their staves over and over again for five minutes. Remarkably, this was all actually filmed on location - they really went to England for the henge shots (not Stonehenge, but Avebury), and Giza and Luxor, Egypt, for the pyramid and sphinx shots, and so on. The volcano is stock footage from Iceland.

Now, let's make it clear that we aren't knocking this effort. It is definitely art, and it is emotionally charged, timeless, haunting art. Yes, the soundtrack is half the experience here, capturing the images in all their passion. It's loopy and crazy, too, but sometimes it takes a madman (in this case, mad people all around) to show us and play for us what no one else can.

Further pursuit of Kenneth Anger's angry little universe may be chased in the dungeons of UBUWEB.

By the way, the special effects work is courtesy of none other than Wally Veevers, who also did special effects on Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey. But "Kenneth Anger Is a Link Between The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Charles Manson, and Stanley Kubrick" was too long a title.

Unlikely Dream Teams

Jon O'Brien — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 14:16:00 -0400

A meat-dress wearing electro-pop megalomaniac wouldn't be the most obvious duet partner for an 86-year-old big band crooner. But despite the obvious chasm in age, style and attitude, Lady Gaga's contribution to Tony Bennett's 2010 LP, Duets II ("The Lady Is A Tramp") proved to be an unlikely success - so much so that the pair recently confirmed that they are now working on an entire album together. Here's a look at five other unlikely collaborations that looked like a nightmare on paper, but instead turned out to be a dream team pairing.

Nick Cave-& Kylie Minogue-- "Where The Wild Roses Grow"

He was a doom-laden post-punk troubadour who had once battled a heroin addiction. She was a former soap opera actress who had become the Stock, Aitken and Waterman production line's biggest pop princess. Two of Australia's biggest musical exports couldn't have been more polar opposites and yet the latter proved to be the perfect foil for the former's typically unsettling brand of murder balladry on this 1995 single. Adopting the role of Elisa Day, a Wild Rose who had been killed in order to preserve the memory of her beauty, Kylie was unrecognisable from the shiny happy teen famed for such bubblegum pop as "I Should Be So Lucky" as she duetted from beyond the grave with Cave's cold-blooded murderer. Most of the fans who had grown up singing her songs into a hairbrush were slightly repulsed at the time, but "Where The Wild Roses Grow" remains one of the most majestic songs of her career.

The KLF & Tammy Wynette-- "Justified & Ancient"

The stunts that made them infamous (burning a million pounds in the name of art, dumping a dead sheep at a BRIT Awards after-party) were still a year away. But even so, anarchic acid-house duo The KLF were still an unexpected fit at the time for the first lady of country music, Tammy Wynette. Many critics felt that such an old-school choice of lead vocalist was merely a marketing ploy, but the circumstances behind the track didn't really matter. Quite simply, "Justified and Ancient" is one of the most enjoyably ridiculous singles of the early 90s, from the Jimi Hendrix-sampling riff to the tribal chants of 'mu mu land' to Wynette's timeless vocals. In the end, it proved to be the last major hit for both parties, but what a way to go out.

Aerosmith-& Run-D.M.C. - "Walk This Way"

An obvious one for sure, but the impact of the New York hip-hop trio's hook-up with the debauched 70s rockers is still reverberating today. Previously a No.10 hit for Aerosmith back in 1977, "Walk This Way" then became iconic when producer Rick Rubin had the masterstroke brainwave of fusing its classic blues riff and Steven Tyler's yelping tones with Adidas' most vocal supporters. Not only did the track resurrect Aerosmith's career from the dead and launch Run-D.M.C. onto the global stage, but it also catapulted rap into the Billboard Top 5 for the first time ever. We'll try and forget the fact that it also probably spawned the whole nu-metal genre in the process too.

Coldplay-& Rihanna-- "Princess of China"

Despite their 'indie-bedwetter' reputation, Coldplay certainly haven't been averse to stepping outside their comfort zone since overtaking U2 as the world's biggest stadium rock act, whether it's recruiting Brian Eno as producer for their last two studio efforts or joining forces with Jay-Z on the surprisingly decent "Lost." But there was still a certain amount of scepticism when it was revealed that the astonishingly prolific Rihanna was to feature on 2011's Mylo Xyloto. But having already penned tracks for the likes of Jamelia and Beverley Knight, Chris Martin wasn't that much of a stranger to the concept of female R&B as you might think and accompanied by an array of moody shimmering synths and an inspired Sigur Ros sample, "Princess of China" was that rare occasions when a superstar duet lived up to its billing.

Ke$ha-and Iggy Pop-- "Dirty Love"

Ke$ha's claims that her second album, Warrior, was going to be a raw and guitar-based affair didn't hold up to much scrutiny with most of its 12 tracks instead continuing to wring every last bit of mileage out of her whole trashy Valley Girl electro-pop persona. But she did stay true to her word at least once with "Dirty Love," an unexpectedly convincing -garage-rock throwback which saw her more than hold her own against one of the era's most iconic figures. A few more duets with rubber-faced 70s rock frontmen and Warrior might not have turned out to be such a huge fat flop.

The 'Quarter-Decent Three Chord' Britpop Playlist

Jon O'Brien — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 12:45:00 -0400

Perhaps forgetting that he spent the entire first chapter of his post-Take That career desperately trying to ride on the last remaining coat-tails of the Britpop movement, Robbie Williams launched a blistering tirade against some of the era's mid-table bands this month in a dispute with Brett Anderson. Challenging the Suede's frontman assertion that today's boybands produce the same 'crap pop' as those of the 90s, Williams named a whole host of forgotten indie acts to back up his claims that guitar music is even more guilty of mediocrity. While he may have a point with the likes of Shed Seven, Menswear and Northern Uproar, not every outfit he listed merited such a 'quarter-decent three-chord d***head' description. Here's a look at five tracks that Williams perhaps needs to re-evaluate.

The Bluetones - "Firefly"

Mark Morriss and co. got off fairly lightly in the rant compared to their peers, with Williams even acknowledging that they at least had one good song. It's pretty likely that 1996 UK No.2 hit, "Slight Return," was the track he had in mind, but there was far more to The Bluetones' 18-year career than their biggest single. Parent album, Expecting To Fly, was full of similarly graceful and highly melodic tunes, while the likes of later releases "Solomon Bites The Worm," "If" and "Keep The Home Fires Burning" were all worthy of their Top 20 status. But the Hounslow quartet were at their best when they were at their jangliest, and this highlight from their 2010 swansong, A New Athens, proved that they remained utterly charming right up until the end.

Ocean Colour Scene-- "Hundred Mile High City"

Williams back-tracked on his initial suggestion that Ocean Colour Scene had one ace card up their sleeve. But in fact, the mod revivalists had several, from the Led Zeppelin-esque blues of "The Riverboat Song" to the Quadrophenia-inspired ballad, "The Day We Caught The Train." The fact that they've been peddling the same derivative 60s guitar pop ever since has undoubtedly diminished their reputation. But as Steve Cradock's thunderous riff on this theme to Guy Ritchie's Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels proved, their Weller-championed brand of dad-rock could occasionally be thrilling.

theaudience - "A Pessimist Is Never Disappointed"

Williams had history with theaudience - the band famously turned down the offer of a support slot back in 1998, while he once said Sophie Ellis-Bextor had a face like a satellite dish - so it was hardly surprising that their name cropped up in his Britpop hall of shame. But although they only made it to one album before their frontwoman began competing in blockbuster chart battles with Victoria Beckham, they were far more palatable than most of the female-fronted Britpop acts. None more so than on their first of two UK Top 40 singles, a brilliantly-titled slice of indie-pop which sounded like a collision between Saint Etienne and Blondie.

Hurricane #1 - "Step Into My World"

Poor Andy Bell had to suffer the indignity of seeing two of his bands on Williams' hit-list, first with his early 90s shoegazing outfit Ride (who split up before the term Britpop had even been coined), and secondly, Hurricane #1. Admittedly, the Creation Records signing were one of the most obvious Oasis copycat bands to arrive in the wake of Definitely Maybe and (What's The Story) Morning Glory? (ironically, Bell later joined the Gallagher brothers on lead guitar). But containing one of the most epic riffs of the mid-90s, lead single "Step Into My World" proved that at least their tribute act was, however briefly, an equally anthemic one.

Sleeper-- "Inbetweener"

Now a successful author, Sleeper's Louise Wener inadvertently became the ultimate pin-up for a whole generation of male Britpop fans when the band arrived in 1995 armed with their 'Pixies-meets-Partridge Family' sound. There was plenty of eyelash fluttering in the video for their first Top 40 single, and a rather random appearance from ultra-camp Supermarket Sweep quiz show host Dale Winton, but its squalling indie-rock riffs and Parklife-ish kitchen sink tales of suburban life proved she was more than just a pretty face.

When Advertising and Pop Collide

Jon O'Brien — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 12:14:00 -0400

Carly Rae Jepsen already appears to face a mountainous task if she's to avoid becoming a one-hit wonder. But with the news that she will record a new single for Coca Cola this summer as part of their Perfect Harmony campaign, it seems as though she is at least going to extend her fifteen minutes of fame a little longer. Of course, she's not the only Billboard chart-topper to have sold their musical soul to the advertising industry. Here's a look at five hits which blurred the boundaries between pop single and radio jingle.

Chris Brown-- "Forever"

Before he revealed to the world what an utter douchebag he is, Chris Brown's most heinous crime was extending a jingle for a chewing gum ad into a suitably disposable slice of cheap electro-R&B. Originally recorded for Wrigley's Doublemint campaign, "Forever" left something of a sour taste when it was reported that the company actually paid for the new version, explaining the cynical decision to actually leave the whole 'double your pleasure, double your fun' lyric intact and the promo, which shamelessly showed off the actual product itself.

Justin Timberlake-- "I'm Lovin It"

Even taking into account his role in The Love Guru, his curly dweeb hair in 'N Sync and the bloated mess that is The 20/20 Experience, 2003 McDonalds tie-in, "I'm Lovin' It" still remains the low point of Justin Timberlake's career. Arguably at the peak of his powers thanks to the hugely successful Justified campaign, it beggars belief as to why he aligned himself in the first place with a fast food giant whose previous marketing icon had been a creepy red-haired clown. The 'I'm lovin' it, ba ba ba ba ba' hook was fine for a 30-second commercial, but was unsurprisingly conspicuous in a futuristic Neptunes production, and ultimately the whole track was the musical equivalent of a soggy Filet-o-Fish.

Sugababes-- "Girls"

This was where it all started to go hopelessly wrong for the previously untouchable Sugababes. Borrowing the chorus from the previously obscure Ernie K. Doe 1970 single, "Here Come The Girls," that had been revived for pharmacy chain Boots' Christmas '07 campaign and mixing it with the kind of watered-down retro soul that every Amy Winehouse sound-alike was peddling, the trio must have thought they were onto a winner. But instead, the hellish end result felt like it had been designed purely to be belted out at a hen party karaoke session, and the girls virtually lost all their hard-earned credibility overnight.

Mark Ronson-& Katy B-- "Anywhere In The World"

A slight curveball here for the fact that superstar producer Mark Ronson and the Queen of dubstep, Katy B's collaboration for Coca Cola doesn't immediately make you want to rip your own ears out. Written specially for the London Olympics, Ronson's incorporation of sounds from various competing sports was indeed a clever idea. But it's far from either of their best work and it's difficult to see how something so limp was meant to inspire a whole generation of athletes. Not a patch on 'Holidays Are Coming' or 'Always The Real Thing.'

T-Pain-feat. Flo Rida-- "Zoosk Girl"

However, the above four are a picture of integrity compared to AutoTune's biggest exponent T-Pain and his equally brainless comrade, Flo Rida's 2010 single, "Zoosk Girl." Sure, both parties aren't exactly renowned for possessing a strong moral compass, but this was something else. Not only was the name of the online dating company in the title and repeated every other word in its tawdry chorus. But the video was virtually a step-by-step guide on how to register at its site. Thankfully, even fans of lowest common denominator trash-pop have their limits and "Zoosk Girl" failed to even reach the US Top 100.

Pit Your Brains Against These Highbrow Artists

Penguin Pete — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 16:49:00 -0400

Ah, you are the discriminating individual, sitting there puffing on your meerschaum pipe and sipping your scotch, with your distinguished monocle and top hat - which looks silly with that sundress and those pink bunny slippers - but you're searching for more intellectual fare? Yes, brainy individual that you are, this paragraph couldn't send you scampering for the dictionary even if it undertook to surfeit you with a tsunami of sesquipedalian verbiage grandiose in its bombastic pomposity amidst its very pretentious fustian.

OK, we get it, you're a brain. Here's some brainy bands for a change:

Sound Horizon

First off, they do nothing but concept albums and rock operas, and at that, it's all fantasy and science fiction themes. Oh, and they also go heavy on the symbolism and metaphor in the lyrics. Lastly, they're Japanese, anime influenced, and their songs may be in any one of six different Eastern languages. That won't slow you down, right? Weep with awe at their beauty:

Gentle Giant

The last word in British progressive rock (and self-indulgence), Gentle Giant cheerfully admitted right on their album sleeves that they were out to push the boundaries of high-concept pop and didn't care beans if their albums didn't sell because of it. Cut from the same cloth as King Crimson, here's one of their more accessible pieces, "Quiet and Cold":

Frank Zappa, peace be upon him

Now, most of you don't think of the prophet Zappa, peace be upon him, as a highbrow - what with "Dancin' Fool" over there and "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow" over here. In fact, he could hold his own chops with just about any school of music you could think of, and covered most of it at some point of another. Bawdy lyrics, but instrumentals chock full of musical jokes, puns, homages, and references - and dauntingly difficult for all but the top musicians of his time to play. Here's "G-Spot Tornado," his composition, conducted by the prophet himself with the Ensemble Modern in Frankfurt, Germany:

The Decemberists

For those of you back there thinking of this group when you were listening to Gentle Giant, this is the US version: Stage performers all, with violins and accordions, singing long-winded ballads about gypsies and pirates and sailors. They're a smash hit with the Ren Faire crowd. In case you haven't heard it to death already, here's "The Mariner's Revenge Song" right here in their living room:

Tom Lehrer

This is what happens when a Harvard-degree-holding (magna cum laude) math professor who went on to teach at MIT and work for the NSA decides to ditch it all to be a Weird-Al-Yankovic style novelty musician instead. Here's his "Chemical Elements" set to that Major-General tune:

Bonus Buck: Is your brain worn out for all this thinky-winky stuff? Tom-Tom Club's "Genius of Love," while having a title that would lead you to believe it's highbrow fare, is actually a relaxing bubblegum rhythm ditty from 1981 with an adorable animated video:

The Art of Self-Indulgence

Jon O'Brien — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 15:05:00 -0400

It's fair to say that expectations were high when Justin Timberlake announced he was finally putting his mediocre film career aside to release his first studio album in seven years. After all, this was the man who managed to turn from curly-haired boyband dweeb to the new King of Pop within the space of two years. But as everyone has since found out, The 20/20 Experience is unfortunately far more The Love Guru -than The Social Network -- a lazy, derivative and cliched mess that even with just ten tracks, clocks in at a ridiculously flabby 70 minutes. But of course, he's not the only superstar to let his ego get the better of him. Here's a look at five other mainstream records which badly needed someone with the balls to step the artist aside and just say 'no.'

Guns N' Roses-- Chinese Democracy

Where better to start than with reportedly the most expensive album ever made and one with possibly the lengthiest gestation period. Indeed, even Kate Bush was probably telling Axl Rose to get a move on when after fifteen years, multiple delayed release dates and a merry-go-round of line-up changes, Guns N' Roses still hadn't delivered their follow-up to 1993's The Spaghetti Incident. Eventually trudging into stores at the end of 2008, Chinese Democracy was inevitably never going to justify the wait. But even so, it was still shocking at just how bewildering, unfocused and bloated its 14 hopelessly dated attempts at nu-metal were.

Christina Aguilera-- Back To Basics

Renowned for her ear-shattering foghorn vocals, The Mickey Mouse Club's second most famous female graduate has never quite grasped the whole 'less is more' concept. But she outdid herself on 2006's Back To Basics, a mammoth double album featuring 22 tracks, not one of which was even half as enjoyable as "Genie In A Bottle." Indeed, despite the presence of hit-makers Linda Perry and Mark Ronson, Aguilera's determination to establish her serious artiste credentials resulted in a self-important and charmless endurance test that even her most ardent admirers struggled to persevere with.

Oasis-- Be Here Now

Most music critics ended up with egg on their face when after slating (What's The Story) Morning Glory?, Oasis' second album went onto become one of the most ubiquitous and iconic records of the mid-90s. Presumably burned by their kneejerk reaction last time round, they then treated the Gallagher brothers as the second coming when their follow-up, Be Here Now, arrived in 1997. But recorded amidst a haze of cocaine, its overblown guitar solos and lumbering lad-rock melodies virtually killed off the whole Britpop movement in one foul swoop and Oasis were never treated with anywhere near the same reverence again.

Alanis Morrissette-- Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie

You have to admire Alanis for refusing to do what many artists who sold 33 million copies of their last album would do and simply make Jagged Little Pill v2.0. But her follow-up's title alone was enough of a warning sign that she'd perhaps gone a little too from one extreme to the other. Packed full of idiosyncratic and downright incoherent psychobabble, Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie might have been a cathartic experience for its creator, but it was a largely unlistenable and hugely disappointing tune-free racket for everyone else.

Sting-- Songs From The Labyrinth

With his penchant for tantric sex and patronising messages about the environment, Sting had already garnered a reputation as one of the most pretentious men in rock. But with 2003 LP, Songs From The Labyrinth, it felt as though he was deliberately trolling his many critics by recording 26 compositions written by 16th-Century Renaissance composer John Dowland entirely on the lute. Amazingly, the tumbleweed that greeted its release didn't deter him from more classical ventures with 2009's If On A Winter's Night and 2010's Symphonicities also proving just how far he'd disappeared up his own backside.

The Alternative Papal Playlist

Jon O'Brien — Sun, 17 Mar 2013 18:00:00 -0400

In the week that Argentina's Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio was elected the new leader of the Roman Catholic Church, here's a look at five Pope-referencing tracks which are unlikely to ever feature on the Vatican's party playlist.

Half Man Half Biscuit - "Vatican Broadside"

As brilliantly idiosyncratic as ever, Birkenhead's finest indie-rock outfit cleverly managed to offend both Christians and Slipknot fans in just 37 seconds with this barmy little ditty. Set to the tune of "The Battle Of The Hymn Republic," or more famously the "Glory, Glory" terrace chant, Nigel Blackwell's deadpan tones tells the story of Corey Taylor's journey to meet the Pope, only to be told in no uncertain terms that the Pope isn't exactly au fait with masked nu-metal outfits.

Prince-- "Pope"

Included on his 1993 The Hits/The B-Sides collection, this funky New Jack Swing number is one of the few times where a mainstream act has spoken out in favour of the Pope, with the Purple One admitting that he'd much rather be a man of the cloth than the President of the United States. But with its expletive-led Bernie Mac sample and talk of a drummer substituting his sticks for his nether regions, then it's still unlikely to have been a Pope John Paul II favourite.

James Dean Bradfield - "Say Hello To The Pope"

Of course, the Manic Street Preachers aren't exactly strangers to the concept of theological debate, so you could have been forgiven for expecting this James Dean Bradfield solo track to have a bit of bite. Instead this country-rock/Spector-esque Wall of Sound production, taken from his 2008 debut The Great Western, was a rather jaunty affair which merely used the title as a substitute parting message after losing a girl to religion.

David Peel & The Lower East Side - "The Pope Smokes Dope"

One of the more curious projects in John Lennon's career, the ex-Beatle and wife Yoko produced proto-punk hippy David Peel's second studio album, The Pope Smokes Dope, in 1972, the final track of which continued his fondness for religious satire with an outrageous series of claims about the pope's fondness for wacky baccy. Even managing to slip in a sly dig at his views on birth control, the record was unsurprisingly pretty much banned in every predominantly Catholic country.

Tim Minchin - "The Pope Song"

Compared to Aussie comedian Tim Minchin's hugely blasphemous attack on the man in white, however, "The Pope Smokes Dope" sounds like a ringing endorsement. Indeed. inspired by Pope Benedict's controversial visit to the UK in 2010, the Richard Dawkins obsessive lambasts the Catholic church for their cover-up of sexual abuse whilst simultaneously appearing to attempt the world record for most 'motherf****rs' in a single song.

The Anarchist's Songbook

Penguin Pete — Wed, 13 Mar 2013 12:56:00 -0400

Are you "mad as hell and not going to take it anymore"? Got your random, ragtag band of Molotov-cocktail-lugging patriots ready to organize and smash the state? Occupying someplace that's a meaty part of the consumer-industrial complex? Need a little something to pump up the troops as they take to the streets? Herein, a list of anarchist anthems, ready made for your agrarian uprising. Viva La Resistance!

We'll start with the mellow, older ballads and work our way forward through the punk years to modern outrage.

"Get Up, Stand Up" - Bob Marley

Can't beat the old-school! People who never listened to Marley beyond the two or three mellow songs that make it to Top-40 radio assume he was just a laid-back toker who sang about smoking, funny hats, and dreadlocks. No, he was actually quite the socio-political rebel in his day.

"For What It's Worth" - Buffalo Springfield

The song may sound mystical and spooky, and is often mistakenly associated with Vietnam War protests and the like. But it was actually about the Sunset Strip riots in LA, when as many as 1000 demonstrators showed up to defy street curfews (10PM) in November of 1966. Riot police showed up and demonstrators clashed - amongst them Jack Nicholson and Peter Fonda. The song later got adopted as the protest anthem of the youth movements of the '60s.

"All She Wants To Do Is Dance" - Don Henley

A mellow break, a quiet before the storm. The song, as happily dance-worthy as it is, is actually about the shame of the youth being more interested in partying than in fighting political power. It's no coincidence that it came out in 1985 - Reagan had just been re-elected in a landslide with practically no resistance, despite the punk culture having screamed for years that we should watch what was being pulled on us. For the record (because history is dead), Reagan's vice-president was Bush Sr., Bush Sr. served his own term in office, and his son was George W. Bush; so there's a straight line between the Reagan years and the next generation's 9/11, Wall Street, and all the other things that seem to work everybody up today. Aaaaanyway, Henley decided to make a more radio-friendly message urging the young people to quit partying and look what was goin' down. It didn't work.

"Life During Wartime" - Talking Heads

Another Top-40 sampling. This one's chock-full of secret-agent imagery and Mad Max sentiment. David Byrne mentioned that the song is about headline-grabbing late-'70s events and incidents revolving around political unrest, including the Red Army Faction, the Patty Hearst incident, and the high-crime rate and open drug usage at Tompkins Square, near where he lived at the time.

"CIA Man" - The Fugs

A funny one for a change. This one is more a parody of paranoid conspiracy-theory ideas about government intelligence. But Poe's Law applies here, too: it's impossible to come up with a scheme zanier than something the Central Intelligence Agency or one of its cohorts have actually thought of trying. Oh, and don't miss its use as the closing theme of Coen brothers' Burn After Reading.

"The Mob Rules" - Black Sabbath

Self explanatory, right? Utterly wasted in the film Heavy Metal, this song deserves to be made part of the soundtrack for something with flaming cars and looting.

"The Consumer's Song" - Anti-Flag

From the album A New Kind of Army, with adorable cover art of four punk-rockers - mohawks akimbo - doing a flag-raising-on-Iwo-Jima parody with an upside down flag. What, political, this album? You're cheesin' me!

"So You Want To Be A Cop" - Leftover Crack

An important question to ask: what makes people want to be cops? We can see if you want to be a hero - and there are some heroes out there - but most of them end up being evil punks who abuse authority and brutalize the innocent, and usually are caught red-handed being corrupt and sometimes causing more crime than they prevent. (And if you don't agree with that sentiment, what are you doing reading this list?) Is it just the default professional choice for middle-school bullies or what?

"Stars and Stripes of Corruption" - Dead Kennedys

We could have filled this entire post with Dead Kennedys songs and nobody would have complained. It's hard to pick just one, but this song best captures what's likely to resonate with today's breed of angry rebel.

"Jesus Was a Terrorist" - Jello Biafra with NoMeansNo

Oh, OK, technically this isn't a Dead Kennedys song since it's just Jello Biafra and friends. Still, think about how the lyrics here make a clever double-entrede - is the point that we should be like Jesus and rebel too? Or that Jesus was not at all what the Christians make him out to be, so we should rebel against them? Or that Jesus and the church together are the real problem? In any case, if Internet commentary (and recent elections) are anything to go by, anti-religious sentiment is forming a whole hogshead of anti-political sentiment in the states.

"Fuck Authority" - Pennywise

The magnum opus of anarchist songs. Should be playing over the end-credits to every film about a riot. Wouldn't have been out of place in Fight Club. Somewhat trite and pandering though it is, it's still got the sentiment down perfectly.

OK, now it's time to go back to work in your little cubicle with the florescent lighting and stale coffee and TPS reports, before you take your two-hour commute home breathing smog and listening to Top-40 bubblegum. You'll like that, won't you?

The Buried Treasure of Forbidden Zone

Penguin Pete — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 19:04:00 -0500

Fans of Tim Burton movies, particularly the soundtrack, need to listen up, because this applies directly to you:

If you haven't seen Forbidden Zone, you haven't seen the first film Danny Elfman ever scored. In fact, you're also missing the first film Danny Elfman ever appeared in - and he plays the devil. You'll also remember Danny from his band Oingo Boingo, originally "The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo." This wasn't a hard gig to swing, since his brother, Richard, directed.

Think that's going to be the topper? Hell no! We're just getting started. This movie is just one big Halloween stocking stuffed full of goodies. Let's see what we have here: We have Herve Villechaize in a lead role - you might remember him as "Tattoo" from the so-80s-it-hurts TV series Fantasy Island. We have Susan Tyrrell as his queen (yes, he's the king. Of the sixth dimension). You'll recognize her as she became one of the Tim Burton and John Waters canon, in films like Cry-Baby and Big Top Pee-Wee. Oh, and don't forget Warhol protege Viva, she's in this too. And Phil Gordon, veteran character actor from Green Acres, Petticoat Junction, and The Beverly Hillbillies. Is this becoming the weirdest, most improbable cast ever assembled or what? Oh, and animation by John Muto, another cult fan favorite.

And we're not even done! We're still leaving a few buried surprises to discover yourself. But here's the film opening, which will leave you no doubts about the crew's credentials:

We have to talk about the music, here.

Obviously, quite a chunk of the soundtrack is by Danny Elfman. But there's also Susan Tyrrell's number "Witch's Egg," which she composed. "Pico and Sepulveda" by Eddie Maxwell, a Spike Jones colleague (and hence a Dr. Demento staple). And Cab Calloway hits: "Some of These Days," and "Minnie the Moocher," the latter famous for its association with Bettie Boop cartoons. Oh, and the Three Stooges' alphabet bit, can't leave that out. All of the above was retreaded by the Elfmans, with new lyrics and arrangements (in case you didn't pick that up).

A word about potentially offensive content: Sexually, you have enough peek-a-boo nudity and adult themes to fit on a double-bill with The Rocky Horror Picture Show. And politically-correctly... this film was first criticized for its alleged racist content. Yeah, but the obvious Jewish caricature characters were played by actual Jews who did this all the time, as their shtick. And the minstrel blackface, really only a couple of scenes, is an obvious parody of its earlier accepted usage in the cartoons of the era invoked by the aforementioned Boop (and the cartoony sound effects throughout).

What's going on with this equally eclectic music mix of the distant past and cutting edge New Wave? In the first place, Oingo Boingo was transitioning from their old caberet routine to being a new wave band. And the rest is just acknowledging roots - the Cab Calloway goes great with the Max-Fleischer-inspired animations. The set design is straight out of German expressionism by way of the Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Really, every aspect of this film is raiding a pop culture treasure chest from one decade or another.

But what about the influence from the like of Tim Burton? True Fans, it's the other way around! This is the film that inspired Tim Burton! And another famous artist, Paul Reubens, perhaps you've heard of him?

UPDATE: Ran across this live Q&A with director Richard Elfman...

Music's Most Flamboyant Flamingos

Penguin Pete — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 11:14:00 -0500

It's easy to spot the glam-rock peacock in the crowd: Who's wearing the feather boa? While many rock stars live an extravagant lifestyle and the female divas certainly put the glitz and glamor over the top, there is a certain breed of male performing artist who goes for the rhinestones and animal prints just a little too much for good taste.

Which is not to point fingers and ridicule, here. Heck, if you're pulling down eight figures a concert, you might as well enjoy it, right? And also not to single anybody out for being gay - some flamboyant male artists are straight or at least bi; many gay artists don't go in for the flash and glamor any more than the rest of the batch. But the flamboyant flamingos of rock do seem to make a preference for being androgynous at least, simply because that's just one more artistic statement to make.

No, no, we're here to salute them! These are the fabulous people who let you know the party has started as soon as they walk in the door. The world needs them, too.

Counter-example: George Michael

Just to show that openly-gay != flamboyant flamingo, we present The George. Openly out of the closet, but stubbornly anti-glam. A little hairspray and lots of black, but still, a Rhinestone Factor of zero.

Elton John

Damned near blows everybody else out of this category. Legendary for his glitzy styles over the years, and notorious for having, of all things, a shopping addiction. And then there's the stars... and the sequins... and the colors... and the glasses, glasses, GLASSES!

David Bowie

The personification of androgyny. Though he's toned it down a lot in recent years, he'll never live down his various incarnations over the decades when he always kept us guessing. The makeup, the Ziggy Stardust phase, and the Goblin King phase. Bowie took whatever was over-the-top for the current decade and make it his trademark.

Freddie Mercury

While he was usually quite content to go butch, he certainly had his moments. If anything, even Mercury at his most conservative looked like he was sorry to have missed out on that Village People thing. But who cares, it's sweaty sequin time!

Prince

The Prince of Pout, the Purple Primrose, the Pink Satin Pompadour - you can never be as over-the-top in describing him as he can in getting dressed in the morning. Scowly single-handedly kept the animal print and Victorian revival markets alive during the '80s. His boots alone could have their own documentary. You could paint every house on the block with the eye-shadow he's worn. When he changed his name to a symbol, even the symbol was androgynous and ornamental!

David Lee Roth

Sure, you know he's the biggest ham on the planet, but you're used to thinking of him as butch. But then you stop and think about it... leather chaps is metal - leather chaps with the metal studs is glam. Day-glo surfer gear in the '80s is metal - still doing it now is glam. And then there's the angel wings. Just look at that pout! He's saying "Aren't I beautiful?"

Boy George

Funny, he's the first person everybody thinks of for flamboyant, and yet when you stack him up against the others on this list, he's really not that gaga after all. Meh, some eye-shadow and lipstick, sure, and enough feathers to make a nest for the Spruce Goose, but after that he's actually not even that androgynous.

Liberace

What, you forgot all about him? Honey, he started this whole flamboyant thing in the first place! And he's never been matched. Nobody has had more glitter, more fur, more clothes than the King of Camp. There's a museum in Las Vegas devoted to his wardrobe - suck it, Elton! And check this out: How many of us could appear onstage with a Muppet and still have more feathers?

Honorable mention: Marilyn Manson makes the top page photo, and yet he's more goth than glam. He's going for "scary," not "pretty." See the difference now?

Sexual Double Entendre in Music: A Spotter's Guide

Penguin Pete — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 15:50:00 -0500

Nothing annoys those of us who write in music more than seeing urban legends and myths posted in the comments section. Irrepressible 14-year-olds with their minds permanently stuck in the gutter post on every song "This song's about titties! Hee hee hee!" Invariably on the wrong songs.

Look, folks: The POINT of double entendre, a half-French phrase meaning "two intentions," is to leave it ambiguous as to which meaning you intended. Dwell and meditate upon this wisdom. If you just say "sex," that's not double entendre, because that word doesn't have any non-sexual meaning. If you say "pussy," that certainly can be a cat, but in our wised-up age will undoubtedly be taken for the other meaning. Say "kitty" and now we're getting somewhere. Also, the kind of mistake we rave and rage against is the kind of mind that reads double-entendres into everything. There are not, nor probably will there ever be, sexually-charged double meanings to phrases like "reading the newspaper," "forecasting the weather," or "responding to a court summons."

Rule of thumb: If Beavis and Butthead aren't chuckling, it wasn't a double entendre.

So here's some of the right songs, where they really were talking about what you think they're talking about:

"Cherry Pie" - Warrant

See how this works? This is very obviously a song about sex with a young gal, so there's no need to play around with coy references. But Warrant does it anyway, just for funsies: "So I mixed up the batter, and she licked the beater!" This was actually an unusual song for Warrant; pity that it's their most famous one, to their disgust.

"Peacock" - Katy Perry

When it comes to Perry, the innuendo isn't there to be cute so much as to dodge the censors. She does her very sparkling best with this song, though, what with getting away with repeating the syllable 'cock' until it's funny. "Are you brave enough to let me see you peacock? Don't be a chicken boy, stop acting like a bitch. I'm a peace out if you don't give me the pay off, Come on baby let me see whatcha hiding underneath."

"Given the Dog a Bone" - AC/DC

AC/DC mastered the art of thinly-veiled references to sex in hard rock decades ago. "She blowing me crazy 'til my ammunition is dry... She's using her head again." Suffice it to say that this song has nothing to do with pet ownership.

"The Captain's Wife's Lament" - Paul and Storm

A novelty act who are tailor-made for Dr. Demento replays, these guys quite deliberately milk the homonyms "seamen" for "semen" for all it's worth and a nickel more. (Beevis: "Heh, he said 'milk', he he he" Now they've got me doing it.) It starts out with naming locations like the hallway and fireplace, but then it gets to seamen in hair and underwear so it leaves no doubt. Adorably animated in this machinima in what looks like World of Warcraft:

"Love Game" - Lady Gaga

Like Katy Perry, it's tough narrowing down Lady Gaga's songs to just one example. "I wanna take a ride on your disco stick." is both obvious and ridiculous, and in case your were still too thick to get it, she actually has to say later, "I'm educated in sex, yes, and now I want it bad." Boo! No points awarded for style.

"My Ding-A-Ling" - Chuck Berry

Practically the most famous song by ol' Chuck by now. It was, in fact, his only #1 single, and wouldn't you know it's his only novelty song. Needs no explanation here, but in the time it was made, it stands as a masterpiece in the art of double entendre. Berry even innocently clarifies in the first verse that it was "silver bells upon a string." By the way, at this writing, Chuck Berry is still alive at age 86 and reportedly still feisty as ever. He toured as recently as 2008, and still makes regular stage appearances at Blueberry Hill restaurant in St. Louis, Missouri. How's that for a living legend?

"Brand New Key" - Melanie

Certainly the coyest effort on this list. You really might hear this song as a youngster and think she's actually talking about a key for her roller skates. Yet it's brimming with fresh, confident female libido, and at the same time using wholesome words throughout, even in context. Here's the same song used in a commercial about a globe-traveling baby just to underscore that fact:

"Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo" - Bloodhound Gang

Finally, we leave you with another novelty act that takes double entendre to an art form, and accompanies it by a video that would make Andy Warhol plunge his Sticky Fingers into his Velvet Underground:

The Greatest Cult Film Soundtracks

Penguin Pete — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 16:31:00 -0500

You like how we slip that word "cult" in there? Pretty sneaky, eh? That excuses us from having to list the expected Great Art classics. No Chariots of Fire or Sound of Music here. Nor will John Williams get called to the stage. These are films where the soundtrack is enthusiastically dialed into the iPod on its own, even by people who have never seen the film it came from.

Further disclaimer: We rave about Quentin Tarantino all the time here, so our research staff corralled the Tarantino nerd, who is now hogtied in the breakroom until this article is posted. Granted, every film released by Tarantino is a cult film soundtrack and also the greatest. You all know that. Why repeat it?

Clerks

Kevin Smith blew most of the budget for the soundtrack, but nobody can argue that it wasn't money well-spent. The soundtrack is chock-full of cutting-edge (for the time) punk, alt, indie, and grunge music that have since been recognized as top-notch standards. Because we know you'll love us for it, here's the entire "Star Wars" scene, from Pringles to Babyface Bambino, with Supernova's "Chewbaca" used perfectly just to sink our point:

The Nightmare Before Christmas

We almost had to tie up our Danny Elfman fans, too, but we'll allow it one more time. It's tough to pick a Danny Elfman soundtrack that isn't a raging cult hit. There's the Men in Black series, the Spider-Man series, Batman series, Pee-Wee Herman series, Beetlejuice... Danny Elfman can do no wrong by film soundtracks. But The Nightmare Before Christmas simply wins hands-down as his magnum opus, since the whole point of that film was to be a musical.

Darren Aronofsky's debut and the true uber-geek film, a one-of-a-kind mathematical thriller (tell us that isn't breaking new ground), wouldn't have half its atmosphere if not for composer Clint Mansell's tense and fiendishly brilliant original score, an intellectual electronic soundscape that matches the title character's sweaty, anxious, paranoid genius. Mansell's career was launched from this soundtrack, and he's since been well-recognized for composing the scores to Requiem for a Dream, The Fountain, 11:14, and many more uber-geek films.

Natural Born Killers and Lost Highway

Both assembled by Nine Inch Nails' Trent Reznor. Notice that both of these films' soundtracks are cutting-edge compilation works for their time, and both, while using similar bands and genres, each keep true to the mood of their respective films. The music in Natural Born Killers is an evocative post-modern gorefest, shocking you as sharply and shrilly - but just as self-mockingly - as the film it supports, while the music for Lost Highway perfectly meets the broody, post-industrial tone for Lynch's romantic, melancholy nightmare.

Pretty Woman

We know, you barf by reflex at the mere mention of this sick, sick movie that glamorizes prostitution and insults both genders about equally. We know you also hate it for launching Julia Roberts' delusion that she was a sex object (she got better, but at the cost of many, many ruined films). You have good taste for hating this movie! But don't let that stop you from picking up the soundtrack, because Red Hot Chili Peppers, Robert Palmer, Roxette, David Bowie, and need we remind you Roy Orbison, deserve your attention.

Heavy Metal

We loved this one so much, we already wrote a whole article about just this film. What kind of music blog would neglect that?

While we're linking to our past articles, there's also the films that are perfect at capturing their time, here and here. They belong on this list, too.

Harold and Maude

Cat Stevens composed original songs just for this film, and their quirky individuality and carefree spirit fit perfectly with this achingly sweet misfit black comedy. This film was daring and original in a dozen ways for 1971, and it's even still risky for a few concepts right now. Here's one loving tribute to its timeless message, celebrating what a beautiful thing it is to be human and alive depite what an utter mess we are:

Oh, be sure to check out 7 Big Rock Talents Who Have Scored Films and All Grammy, No Oscar - Five songs from films where the song was a bigger success than the film while you're here. We have to untie our Tarantino geek before he goes Medieval on our ass.

Your Word For the Day Is Leitmotif - part 4

Penguin Pete — Wed, 06 Feb 2013 17:16:00 -0500

Previously in the Leitmotif series: (part 1), (part 2), (part 3).

Once again, what is a leitmotif? It's a snippet of music that gets reused over and over in video media, be it film, TV, commercials, cartoons, or even video games. The way it's used is that it becomes a shorthand cue to invoke something specific. A few bars from the leitmotif will play in the background to be the subject's theme or invoke a reference to the subject. For instance, "Here Comes the Bride" is a wedding leitmotif and "Jingle Bells" is Santa Claus' leitmotif.

The teasing part of these songs is that you hear them over and over again, but never know what they are called or where they originated. They become embedded in our culture without anyone noticing it. Ask any fifth-grader to hum some "Egyptian music" and they'll probably hum "Streets of Cairo" (aka "There's a place in France where the naked ladies dance" and a hundred other variations). So this series exists to finally answer that burning question you've always had: "What the hell is that song I always hear?" On to the featured leitmotifs of the day:

Misirlou

To kick things off, I'm sure you've heard the theme from Pulp Fiction:

What, you don't recognize it? Just listen to it for a few minutes, it will click. "Misirlou" is a folk song dating back to the early 20th century. Originally it was Greek, but passed around in various versions through Egypt, Arabia, and the general Mediterranean. You know it better by the shockingly modernized version Dick Dale released in 1962, which turns the tune into surfer rock and thence Pulp Fiction's theme. Anyway, the old version is used to invoke the Ottoman Empire area, while the newer version invokes, duh, surfing.

Alouette

Instantly recognizable by tune alone, ever if you don't understand the words - too bad, the words might help explain why this boy is thrilled to beans to be plucking this hapless captured bird. Anyway, the song is used for the stereotypical French setting, especially French Canadians.

Dixie

"Dixie" is the leitmotif for the south-east United States, especially the Bible Belt or Cotton Belt territory. It's also frequently heard in reference to the American Civil War, and anywhere where the Confederate Flag is a common sight. It pops up in everything from Warner Brothers cartoons to commercials, and note also that the "General Lee," the car from the '80s TV series The Dukes of Hazard (pictured above), has both a Confederate Flag painted on the roof and a custom musical horn that plays "Dixie"! The folk song (and region) is named after the Mason-Dixon Line, dates back to the Civil War era and traveling blackface minstrel shows, and might have even been written by a damned Yankee! Be warned, the song is seen as politically incorrect in this day and age for romanticizing black slavery.

The Mexican Hat Dance

Performed with aplomb by this class:

Used to invoke Mexico, of course, especially in the US, and especially in commercials for Mexican food. Somewhat more stereotypical even than "La Cucaracha." Also gets some heavy soundtrack use to suggest "chicanery," by association with Chicanos, the actual term for US citizens of Mexican descent. But "chicanery" means a tricky, deceitful, wily, crafty, or sly performance, such as several people hustling at once to pull off a heist or a fast con. Even appears in print - in the Heinlein novel The Cat Who Walks Through Walls, a character refers to an entire restaurant's act of quickly and efficiently making all evidence of a murdered patron disappear as a "Mexican Hat Dance."

Colors

As American military bugle calls go, most people can identify "Reveille" (rise and shine!) and "Taps" (lights out, and also funeral), but few who have never been in the service can correctly name "Colors," the call traditionally issued when raising the flag. It's also used quite extensively in any media depicting the US military, sometimes mistakenly played for a mess hall call or a call to charge. No really, there's dozens of these bugle motifs, and here's the Wiki on them so you never mix them up again.

Baby Elephant Walk

This one has a variety of uses. First, it's the leitmotif for elephants, and usually a circus in general by extension, sometimes played when they're setting up or breaking down the tent. It's also used to invoke an elephant-like gait for clumsiness, awkward action, drunkenness, balancing a precarious load, and so on. Composed by the ever-amazing Henry Mancini, who penned more leitmotifs than you can shake a trunk at. It was custom-made for the classic 1962 John Wayne film Hatari, about big-game zoo-keepers in Africa.

Five More Unique One-Hit Wonder Stories

Penguin Pete — Sun, 27 Jan 2013 19:59:00 -0500

Continued from part one, here's some more songs that aren't just one-hit wonders for their performers, but intriguing stories behind them as well. When we say "one-hit", of course, we mean as far as the US Billboard charts go. Even so, we're all that more fascinated when it applies to any chart in the world.

"Don't Close Your Eyes" - Kix #11 (1989)

Reason: Failed to stand out from the 20,000 other late-80s hair metal bands.

This anti-suicide ballad song deserves to be better known than it is, even by today's standards. Check it out:

With the vocal power of a thunderstorm, Kix should have gone on to fame based on lead singer Steve Whiteman's talent alone. And the rest of Kix were a pretty solid cast as well. They even charted some more modest numbers on the US Rock tracks, but this was their only appearance above 40 on the Billboard. A number of vague forces conspired to hold Kix back: (1) The world was literally saturated with hair/glam metal bands right at their peak; they would rain from the sky. (2) Grunge was waiting around the corner to kill metal. (3) This is a very serious, slow ballad song, from a band who was otherwise known for their lighter fare.

"Hocus Pocus" - Focus #9 (1973)

Reason: The world just doesn't need that many Dutch progressive yodeling metal band songs.

You really can't say much more about this group than that. Here they are on The Midnight Special, a show we all miss so bad it hurts:

According to interviews, they made the song mostly as a lark, and couldn't have cared a fickle or a fig if they'd never charted. Despite this, the song has had enduring pop culture influence, popping back up in commercials, sports specials, and TV show themes well into the 2000s. The thing that gives the song its staying power is how much it stands out from the crowd, similar to Iron Butterfly's "In A Gadda Da Vida."

"Crush" - Jennifer Paige #3 (1998)

Reason: We're just as baffled as you!

The single "Crush" went to world-wide hit status, hitting single-digit chart numbers in most of the industrialized world. It was certified 2x Platinum in Australia, Gold in the US, and Silver in the UK and France. "Crush" got her an audience with the Pope and Prince Albert of Monaco. And then, she continued to release singles throughout the turn of the century into 2002, from two albums, and scored... dooly-squat. Hasn't had anything close to a hit since, though she hits close to Velvet Underground numbers here and there. What happened? Enigmatically, her personal website, in the 'bio' tab, seems to blame the US 9/11 disaster for her disappearance from the spotlight. It also seems to suggest that she turned to film soundtrack and voice-over work in favor of her own music. Still, for somebody who seems absolutely born to be a top-charting artist on today's scene about equal to Katy Perry, her absence from the airwaves is a mystery. We suspect foul play, possibly an ancient conspiracy.

"Bitter Sweet Symphony" - The Verve #12 (1998)

Reason: One good scandal sank their battleship.

While they continue to record, tour, and occasionally chart here and there around the world, the scandal of the lawsuit for plagiarism brought by The Rolling Stones, plus their subsequent garnishment of all royalties, soured their name forever as far as US audiences were concerned. That and being inextricably ingrained with the teen-trash film Cruel Intentions. The Verve hung it up after 2000, but reunited back in 2007 and have appeared to meander on mostly unhurt (though with some shoulder padding from all those people crashing into them on the sidewalk).

"Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" - Crash Test Dummies #4 (1994)

Reason: Too altie for the mainstream.

Let's face it, "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" is an almost un-Google-able title. Was it "Mm Mm" or "Mmmm Mmmm"? Wait, wasn't it called "Once There Was A Boy Who"? Add to that that the band went through some disputes with their label and left, formed their own indie label, and lead vocalist Brad Roberts suffered a near-fatal car crash in 2000, and you have a recipe for a band that was lucky to have ever charted at all.

Song Analysis Corner: Holiday in Cambodia

Penguin Pete — Thu, 17 Jan 2013 14:22:00 -0500

"Holiday in Cambodia" was the second single released by the Dead Kennedys and one of the most definitive Dead Kennedys' songs. While it barely charted at the time, it got included on their first album Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables and is seen today as one of their signature songs. It also has enduring popularity: Foo Fighters covered it onstage at the 2007 MTV Music Awards, it's gotten cover versions by Atreyu since then, and it's been part of the soundtracks for the films Class(1979), Neighbors(1981), and Spider and Rose(1994), as well as recieving its due in the 2007 documentary film Punk's Not Dead.

It's a song that depends upon historic events for its context, so the point may whoosh over the heads of modern listeners. Let's see if we can clear things up...

First, the history: Khmer Rouge was the radical Communist party of Cambodia, who imposed a totalitarian regime on the country throughout the second half of the '70s, after winning a military coup - including a good old fashioned revolutionary assassination of previous general secretary Tou Samout. Led by Pol Pot and a group of his "brothers", they wrecked havoc on the country with a bloody dictatorship that shocked the world. Between one and two million citizens died under Khmer Rouge, either through execution, starvation, or disease.

The chilling part is the details and methods. If you've paid attention to recent American news and socio-political movements - Occupy Wall Street, "the 1%", hacktivism, Anonymous - you'll notice the similarities in ideology.

Khmer Rouge set out to create a classless society ruled by an iron fist. Money was abolished, books were burned, religion was outlawed, private enterprise was outlawed. Khmer Rouge rounded up and shot every intellectual in the country - doctors, teachers, librarians, professors, writers, artists, journalists, anybody with a white collar career. They were the ones Khmer Rouge called "elitists". Then they enslaved the entire rest of the population and forced them to work in farms. The farms didn't do too well, which beget a deadly cycle of starvation, soldiers blaming the problems on subversion, rounding up peasants to be shot for undermining the farming, more starvation, etc. People could be imprisoned, tortured, or shot (usually all three in that order) for having sex, communicating with a family member, or what the hell, even eating with anything but a spoon.

Hence the name of the event, "The Killing Fields". An excellent recap of the atrocities there, let's not dwell on it. On to the Dead Kennedys' song:

Jello Biafra's lyrics address the American, white, college student, and their tendency to protest first and think later.

"So you been to school for a year or two, and you know you've seen it all. In daddy's car thinking you'll go far back east your type don't crawl." - Sound like Occupy Wall Street so far? Of course, this was in 1980, but they had their version of the OWS to varying degrees - the Yippies, the Wobblies, the Weather Underground.
"Braggin' that you know how the n*****s feel cold and the slums got so much soul." - Yes, Jello drops the N-bomb here; subsequent releases tend to substitute 'blacks' or 'brothers'. Jello was talking about the attitude of college males, who attempt to identify themselves as "cool" by appropriating black and ghetto culture, when they don't know the first thing about the culture itself.
"Don't forget to pack a wife!" - When you got imprisoned, tortured, and shot in Khmer Rouge's notorious S-21 prison death camp, your wife and children frequently shared the same fate just for being related to you.
"Where people dress in black..." - Every subject was issued plain black pajamas. Yes, the entire country was either soldiers or black prisoner uniforms.

The song is a warning of the dangers of populist extremism, particularly applied with all ideology and no common sense. Pol Pot, named in the song, was an admirer of Chairman Mao of "Great Leap Forward" fame, and we all know how well that ended. Khmer Rouge stands today alongside the Chinese "Great Leap" disaster and the Soviet famine under Stalin as political disasters. Modern audiences might grin when the banks get blown up at the end of Fight Club, but forget just how grim the track record is for countries where revolutionaries try to truly reboot their system from scratch.

To quote the child of one victim of Khmer Rouge: "The Khmer Rouge legacy should not be neglected or overlooked because it was the past. It should be a monumental lesson for our future generation. Such an atrocity should never be allowed to reoccur. But it should never be forgotten."

The Media's Favorite Music Scapegoats

Penguin Pete — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 17:33:00 -0500

As predictable as the tide, American media follows every single report of a violent mass tragedy with finger-pointing at their favorite scapegoat targets. Music is one of the perennial favorites. This goes back in history almost to the dawn of mankind, by the way. Every new generation's music is blamed by the previous generation for every imaginable ill of society and ten more they have to make up. If the very next headline you clicked on was "Herpes is caused by dubstep, says local pastor", you'd not be the tiniest bit surprised.

There's some music artists that get blamed every time there's a mass violence tragedy. They've quit protesting this years ago, and just take it in stride:

Marilyn Manson - The poster child for "media scapegoat". Named after every school shooting since Columbine. So much so, that he has quite a chunk of screen time in Michael Moore's excellent (and always relevant) documentary Bowling For Columbine in an interview speaking his piece about the phenomenon.
Eminem - The unexpected second-runner. Being a rapper, trust that he gets blamed more for the "glorifying drugs and gangs" angle.
Ozzy Osbourne - Typically, he gets blamed for the teen suicides. One of the few artists to have actually been a defendant in court for just this charge.
Judas Priest - The other band that gets blamed for teen suicides. Also have actually been defendants in court for just this charge. Don't forget the whole "Satanic messages recorded backwards thing", too.
AC/DC - The old guard, blamed for serial killers over the past several decades.
The Beatles - Don't forget that, since Charles Manson invoked them quite often, they were likewise held up as scapegoats for the Manson murders.

The fascinating question is: What is it about certain bands and artists that draw this kind of fire from media motormouths? There's all kinds of music more popular, more hedonistic, better selling, and so on, that never draws the scapegoat card.

Just for an example of how old this is: Wagner. Yes, we mean the Ring Cycle opera Wagner. Wagner's opera were popular in Germany and hence popular with a certain Fascist movement in the 1940s you're sure to be familiar with - so after the war, guess whose music was frowned upon as tainted in the media?

A few music celebrities have the grit to strike back. Among them:

Insane Clown Posse - In their song "Terrible", they actually call out specific incidents of scapegoating other music acts and ending up with them daring the media to come after them - because they "could use the money!"
GWAR - in their song "The Morality Squad", which pretty much says it all in the title right there. While we're name-dropping GWAR, here's GWAR on the Joan Rivers Show being absolutely hilarious.
Amanda Palmer - calling out a related trope, video game scapegoating, in her song "Guitar Hero". Which we already blogged here.

It's doubtful that we'll ever be rid of these superstitious fools who blame tragedies on random, unrelated things. After all, even before music, the human capacity for magical thinking manifested itself in the idea of "bad luck" - and so we get black cats crossing your path, walking under ladders, and spilling salt.

Think it will ever get better? Here's actress Suzanne Summers blaming the Newtown massacre on nutrition and household toxins:

Song Analysis Corner: Rivers of Babylon

Penguin Pete — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 18:26:00 -0500

"Babylon" is a name with heavy historic significance, and even heavier significance in myth and legend. There's the skiffy show Babylon 5, Kenneth Anger's sordid gossip book Hollywood Babylon, and uncountable scriptural references, not the least of which "the whore of Babylon" being a cultural shorthand for a destructive woman. And let us not forget the "Tower of Babel", forever the symbol of global language diversity.

Babylon is also one of the most continuously inhabited places in human history, going back to Mesopotamia (where both the wheel and handwriting were invented). Nestled between the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, it is regarded as the "cradle of civilization" and is also currently within a country we know today as Iraq... which has no shortage of generating news lately! So you see that the area still gets people fired up.

"Rivers of Babylon" was first recorded by The Melodians, a reggae group from Kingston, Jamaica. It was released on their album Nightflight to Venus. Here it is for your YouTubein' pleasure:

It should come as no surprise that the lyrics and premise come directly from the Bible, specifically the Old Testament book of Psalms, both Psalm 19 and 137. Psalm 19 gives the line "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer." This was a kind of closing phrase frequently appended to Psalms (literally "songs" or poetry) as a kind of closing "amen". But the rest of the lyrics, from Psalm 137, take some more explaining.

In the first place, who's "King Alpha"? That isn't how the Melodians originally phrased it (they used the traditional "the Lord"), but subsequent covers by Boney M. and Sublime changed it to this. King Alpha and Queen Omega are - so to speak - the Rastafarian concept of a dual God. This page explains it too well to rehash here.

In addition, Rastafarian faith frequently refers to any oppressive authority figure as "Babylonians", the same way the British would say "Big Brother". The original Psalm 137 was a song of lament for the children of Israel being invaded and captured by the Babylonians. That's just the first four verses - the remainder of the Psalm gets into some pretty bloody Old Testament oaths of vengeance. "Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones" rates right up there with anything Samuel Jackson said in Pulp Fiction when it comes to ominous scripture.

Now to explain some of the action. Babylonians come and invade and conquer, carrying away Israelites in captivity. And apparently the captors mocked the captives, jeering at them to sing one of their songs. Perhaps they were daring them to pray to the Hebrew God? Perhaps testing this deity to see if He was all that high and mighty? Or just using the prisoners for some cheap entertainment? The motives of many bit players of scripture are cloaked in such mystery.

Anyway, not bad legs for a nice little pop-reggae song, is it?