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Evanescence: My Immortal Meaning

Song Released: 2003


My Immortal Lyrics

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is...

  1. 1TOP RATED

    anonymous
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    Sep 5th, 2007 9:13pm report


    Perhaps some people read a death theme into the lyrics because of the loss of Amy's sister, and mistakenly believing that Amy wrote it. However, feeling the presence of a loved one after death usually brings comfort, not a wish that they'd go away and leave you alone. Nor would death be a reason to resent having been alone "all along." Death generally results in temporary anger over them having left AFTER they die.

    Regardless as to what the original intent of an author is, quite often they will later read something they've written and realize that their subconscious has added multiple levels of meaning to their work. Most artists are aware of the possibilities, no, probabilities of this occurring.

    To me, this song could be about a lover, a friend, a parent, a child, a grandparent...or any other person that is loved but takes or even destroys in return. This story is kind of told in reverse, beginning with her/his feelings and then giving us clues as to "why."

    Most importantly, it seems to be more about losing one's own sense of identity and self-worth due to the loss and/or betrayal of a loved one than about the actual loss of the loved one--in fact, the desire is that the loved one just go away (taking all the painful love and memories with them.)

    "I'm so tired of being here
    Suppressed by all my childish fears"

    She (or he) is emotionally drained and paralyzed by fear--by the end of the lyrics, I'd probably define the fears in terms of the psychological state known as "learned helplessness"

    "And if you have to leave
    I wish that you would just leave
    'Cause your presence still lingers here
    And it won't leave me alone"

    She is constantly tormented by memories he left behind.

    "These wounds won't seem to heal
    This pain is just too real
    There's just too much that time cannot erase"

    He hurt or betrayed her in a way that she can never forget or recover from the emotional damage.

    "When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
    When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
    And I held your hand through all of these years
    But you still have
    All of me"

    Out of love, she sacrificed her life to his well-being and in return, he took her life with him (emotionally/metaphorically) when he left.

    "You used to captivate me
    By your resonating light
    Now I'm bound by the life you left behind"

    She has and always will be imprisoned by him: First it was willingly out of love (captivated by his light); but now she is entrapped by despair (bound by loss and lies)

    "Your face it haunts
    My once pleasant dreams"

    A face she loved (trusted) has incomprehensibley become the face of her tormentor. A dream morphing into a nightmare.

    "Your voice it chased away
    All the sanity in me"

    His words before leaving callously revealed the truth; his deceptions, her delusions, and destroyed her sense of reality.

    "I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
    But though you're still with me
    I've been alone all along"

    She is struggling with the reality that she was all alone in her love when he was with her...and ironically, now that he's left her, she isn't alone: He torments her with the memories of his betrayal (perhaps complicated by her genuine love for who she thought he was.)



  2. 2TOP RATED

    anonymous
    click a star to vote
    Nov 25th, 2006 11:29pm report


    Songwriter, singer, whoever...this song was written/sung from the perspective of someone who cannot get over the loss of a lover who swept her (or him) off her feet ("You used to captivate me...") and later walked away, leaving her devastated. The heartbroken person wanders lost and alone around their once happy home and is constantly bombarded with reminders from the past. ("...if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave 'cause your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone.") She remembers all the times she stood by her loved one ("...I'd wipe away all of your tears...", "...I'd fight away all of your fears...", etc). She is frustrated with herself for still being in love with that person and willing to do anything for him, even though he never really loved her the same way in return ("I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone, but though you're still with me, I've been alone all along.")



  3. 3TOP RATED

    bella dea
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    Sep 6th, 2005 9:29am report


    "I'm so tired of being here
    Suppressed by all my childish fears
    And if you have to leave
    I wish that you would just leave
    'Cause your presence still lingers here
    And it won't leave me alone"

    This is the pain of watching someone you love die and not be able to do anything about it. Being afraid of losing them, of the pain that comes from losing someone. Watching someone hang on when physically they are there but mentally they are gone.

    "These wounds won't seem to heal
    This pain is just too real
    There's just too much that time cannot erase"

    Expression of human suffering when someone you love dies.


    "When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
    When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
    And I held your hand through all of these years
    But you still have
    All of me"

    She was there for this person, through the pain, the suffereing the fear. She has been there always and even though this person will be gone soon, they still have her whole heart.

    "You used to captivate me
    By your resonating light
    Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
    Your face it haunts
    My once pleasant dreams
    Your voice it chased away
    All the sanity in me"

    Again, this is the mentality of someone watching the one they love die. All she can think about is the times that he was well. She is feeling resentment for still hanging onto these memories. She is feeling angry and sad because she can't let go of the past.

    "I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
    But though you're still with me
    I've been alone all along"

    She is trying to convince herself to let go because she knows that he cannot be with her in any way. And she has felt the burden all alone in this. She wants to let go before he dies but she can't.

    This song is raw emotion about watching someone you love die and not be able to do anything about it. It's feeling sadness, resentment, anger and fear all at the same time.



  4.  

    anonymous
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    Jun 17th, 6:03am report


    its about her sister spirit and amy wants her sister to move on and not stay hear. tell her sister that when she died she had pain and it wont heal.and that all the memories that amy had of her sister can't be erased. Every time she hears her sister cried she was their and every time her sister was afraid she tried to comfort her. Even though her sister is dead she is reminding her sister that she still has her.every time she heard her sister's voice she goes crazy or when she sees her sister's face it still haunts her. then repeats what she says .then she said tat she tries to tell her self that her sister is not hear anymore .



  5.  

    anonymous
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    May 31st, 5:10am report


    I found in this song the words my heart felt but my brain was unable to define after the suicide of my son's father. He battled undiagnosed depression throughout his teen years. I did what I knew how to do to try to help, but I was struggling myself. The presence of him that lingers is the guilt of wondering if you did all you could or God forbid, make it worse. The one question every suicide victim's loved ones is haunted by everyday.....WHY???? My son is now almost a man.....I am bound by the life he helped create but chose to leave behind......His eyes and most other features are his father's. Though my son brings me such joy, I will be haunted by his father for as long as I am alive. Everytime I look in his eyes, its his father looking back at me...almost 18a years now, and he still has all of me that matters...



  6.  

    anonymous
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    Apr 13th, 4:48pm report


    I have listened to this a thousand times trying to find its meanings. To me this is about the two faces of a person with depression. There is always the part of a depressed one that wants to be happy and live life with some joy and there is the other side that has always made that person alone and seeing the dark side no matter how strongly the "normal" side tries to leave the depression behind. The classic battle of dark and light, both in one person. It sure fit that life's application for me..



  7.  

    anonymous
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    Nov 27th, 2013 11:08pm report


    This song to me is about ones inner child. As an adult Not being able to reconnect with a part of you that you are aware is still inside of you! The memories still linger and the hurt is still so real...when people face traumatic experiences or are emotionally neglected as a child they tend to disconnect to protect our most precious, delicate inner self, the child within. Time can not erase what has happened to us! Until we reconnect and heal our fears will always remain...We want to forget so bad, but we cant! Listen to the song again...again



  8.  

    jixyoo
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    Nov 22nd, 2013 11:51pm report


    I'm so tired of being here
    Amy is saying I want to move on with my life.
    Suppressed by all my childish fears
    Im tired of being held back by all my fears
    And if you have to leave
    I wish that you would just leave
    Amy is saying I want to be left alone to life my life how I want
    'Cause your presence still lingers here
    And it won't leave me alone
    I still have all the memories of you and cant let go

    These wounds won't seem to heal
    This pain is just too real
    There's just too much that time cannot erase
    I will never get over losing you.
    [Chorus:]
    When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
    When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
    And I held your hand through all of these years
    But you still have
    All of me
    I was there for you and you took everything when you left me
    You used to captivate me
    By your resonating light
    Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
    Your face it haunts
    My once pleasant dreams
    Your voice it chased away
    All the sanity in me
    The pain of losing you has driven me insane
    These wounds won't seem to heal
    This pain is just too real
    There's just too much that time cannot erase

    [Chorus]

    I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
    But though you're still with me
    I've been alone all along



  9.  

    anonymous
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    Oct 6th, 2013 10:08am report


    Well said glowww.



  10.  

    anonymous
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    Oct 5th, 2013 10:33pm report


    OMG The interpretations are so dead on to what I felt the song was and exactly what I feel I am going threw myself. I was in love gave him everything and he destroyed me. Funny how songs speak to us



  11.  

    anonymous
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    Aug 14th, 2013 8:11am report


    Not so much an interpretation, as an application. I once met a woman who's husband had been in a car accident and severely brain damaged. He was left with the IQ of a 5 year old and had to be constantly tended to as such.

    The woman divorced him, but could not abandon him. She tended him as a son instead of the husband she once knew. It was a few years after meeting her that I first heard this song. As I sought my own meaning and take on this song, her story came back to mind. Torn between the love and respect she once had for her strong husband, and the hard trials of tending a child in an adult's body. The lyrics largely made sense to me for her case.



  12.  

    anonymous
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    Aug 3rd, 2013 8:41am report


    I think it's about dealing with a suicide...
    It's from a parent's point of view, to their child who recently committed suicide. Just read the lyrics with that thought and you'll see.

    Although according to Wikipedia, Ben Moody wrote it about his deceased grandfather.



  13.  

    anonymous
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    Jun 21st, 2013 6:06pm report


    I really think it's about the death of a lover. Another Ev song with a similar meaning might be Even In Death, or check out RED's Hymn for the Missing. "I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fear, and if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave, cos your presence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone"- I remember you, I'll always remember you, but since you're gone, it hurts to remember you. "When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears, when you screamed I'd fight away all if your fears, and I held your hand through all of these years, you still have all of me"- I loved you in life, and I will always love you even beyond death. "You used to captivate me by your resonating light, now I'm bound by the life you left behind, your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams, your voice it chased away all the sanity in me"- Our feelings were so strong that I cannot let go if them now, even though they are tormenting me. Chorus- previously explAined. "I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone, but though you're still with me, I've been alone all along"- I can't accept your death, not yet, but someday I will, and maybe then I'll realize that perhaps this wasn't meant to be after all. Chorus- previously explained.



  14.  

    anonymous
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    May 4th, 2013 5:58am report


    She liked this guy like crazy and did everything she could for him but he left her and shes going crazy because the thoughts of him never go away. She refuses to accept that he left her because she thinks about his so much he may as well be right there but then she realizes all this time, shes been alone and cant lie to herself anymore and pretend he's still by her side :'( so sad.



  15.  

    anonymous
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    Feb 13th, 2013 2:23pm report


    lets do this line by line

    "I'm so tired of being here
    Suppressed by all my childish fears"
    this line is saying amy is tired of being afraid of losing someone who has already left her which leads into the next line
    "And if you have to leave
    I wish that you would just leave
    Your presence still lingers here
    And it won't leave me alone"
    she feels all alone like someone close to her has left her with a gaping hole in her chest and they are still a huge part of her life

    "These wounds won't seem to heal
    This pain is just too real
    There's just too much that time cannot erase"
    this is basically saying time cant erase everything that this person did to amy the pain is so raw and its not going away and it torments her

    "When you cry I'd wipe away all of your tears"
    this line is very self explanitory she was very close to a person who is no longer with her she was a shoulder to cry on for this person and they are no longer in her life

    "When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears"
    amy would protect this person by making anything that scared them dissappear

    "And I held your hand through all of these years
    But you still have
    All of me"
    this person was with her for so long and now they have left her she feels like she has no hand to hold nothing left of what used to be but this person still has everything

    "You used to captivate me
    By your resonating light"
    now this could be "light" as in this person was always so happy and was the light of her life or it could be "light" as in everything good that happened to amy when she had this person in her life

    "Now I'm bound by the life you left behind"
    she feels like her life is all that she has left of herself but her life isnt the way it should be or even close to the way it used to be

    "Your face – it haunts
    My once pleasant dreams"
    at one point in her life amy used to have such great dream about this person but now those great times are painful because of the way things ended between the two of them

    "Your voice – it chased away
    All the sanity in me"
    now this could be another singer she is talking about or it could be a person who was very outspoken about life and this haunts her because hearing this persons voice is painful

    then we go back to some lyrics and then we have a chorus then we have this "I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
    But though you're still with me
    I've been alone all along"
    this is saying that amy is very hurt and she feels so alone and cant bear the pain of losing this person

    hope my interpretation helps ya :D



  16.  

    anonymous
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    Dec 28th, 2012 12:06pm report


    To me this song, the lyrics and the title, reflect the haunting memory of an adult abused as a child, trying to leave that frigntened child behind, thinking they have moved on but will carry the pain for life.
    Everyone sees something different, we all come from different perspectives and experiences and this song relates to many painful situations, so we love it.



  17.  

    anonymous
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    Oct 7th, 2012 10:55pm report


    It sounds like the death of a child, when you cried i'd wipe away all of your tears
    when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears
    and I held your hand through all of these years" I guess you could do that for an adult,or a sibling, but it makes more sense with a child...



  18.  

    anonymous
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    Jul 17th, 2012 7:19pm report


    Some one told me that she had been told that in this song she's a gost....isn't she?i think that's not all about love...cause you see she's always on some thing and can't touch the ground.....she's not in heaven and she's lost after her death...mourning for her love....



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