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Panic! At The Disco - There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet Song Meanings

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OK, I think there's this guy and he's like getting a bunch of attention, and there's this girl, who, before he got in the picture, was like the center of attention, and he want to like kill her or something, and he like hates her and wishes she would die cause he's like a greedy attention adick, (but this is an awesome song in the long run), anyway, this guy is talking to these people and there all wondering why she's now, like, unconfident, and the guy spiked the punch and then he's going to try to make her drink lots of it so she gets drunk and makes a fool of herself, and then she'll get sick from the cigarettes and he'll help her looking like a big hero, when really, he's the ass whole who started all this shit!

Submitted by: Milkyyy
Added: 2007-04-02 16:33:03     Rating:

I think that the lyrics mean that they werent the best because of someone else, but they got courage and confidence to outshine them. "I'm the new cancer, never looked better and you can't stand it."

Submitted by: anonymous
Added: 2007-04-13 18:07:05     Rating:

"I'm the new cancer, never looked better, you can't stand it.
Because you say so under your breath.
You're reading lips "When did he get all confident?"

Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Never looked better, and you can't stand it"

I think this bit is about a girl that maybe dumped the guy who wrote the song or cheated on him or something and now that he's really big and famous he's rubbing it in that she did whatever to him.

And yeah I think they just added a story to it to make the song better.

Well that's what I've always thought... You don't have to agree.

Submitted by: anonymous
Added: 2007-04-14 01:25:05     Rating:

Oh yeah and to add on to what I said before "I'm the new cancer" I think means that their music is everywhere and it's a big hit that's gonna last for a while...

And yeah. That's all.

Submitted by: anonymous
Added: 2007-04-17 15:21:29     Rating:

It's simple.

He's saying he's better than anyone else. Other bands will envy them. For awhile a lot of bands did.

Submitted by: anonymous
Added: 2007-05-27 15:11:46     Rating:

Okay, I think this is about a man who is hosting a banquet, and has invited his ex-girlfriend, who is really gorgeous, and stuck up. She's shocked at how confident he is, and he's doing his best to upset her. He's taken away all her posh clothes (Please, leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman. From that moment you'll be out of place and under dressed.) so she's now left with nothing to make her look stunning. He's "never looked better" so I think he's trying to show her what he's missing. There are loads of fashion and high class people at the banquet, so she's really being looked down on. I think by "I'm the new cancer" he means that he's slowly but surely ruining her life and other peoples, and is also almost famous, like everyone's heard of him. Thats what I think anyway =] x

Submitted by: anonymous
Added: 2007-06-10 20:00:01     Rating:

It's about someone that is cast out in a social scene. No one likes them because they don't know enough about them. So they are saying I'm the new cancer NEVER LOOKED BETTER AND YOU CANT STAND IT. Like you talk shit because you don't know me and you wish you were me, you make assumptions, or it's about what most panic songs are about leaving the day life for a night on the town where you leave drama and rumors behind and your the shit at this club but during the day your way different due to speculations.

Submitted by: smartgurl333
Added: 2007-07-07 19:26:46     Rating:

It's about a character who was dumped by a woman because he wasn't good enough for her and he's come to one of her posh little parties and show her just what she just gave up and ruin her party at the same time.It's an awesome song about just how fun mischief and revenge can be when it's at your ex's expense
: D

Submitted by: anonymous
Added: 2007-09-19 11:53:00     Rating:

Please, leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman.
From that moment you'll be out of place and underdressed.
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it.
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and...

I think this means that in order to make one person who doesn't fit in, able to fit in, but not able to fit in with the upper classes. When he says 'Im wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it.' I think it means that he's beginning to ruin it for a single person who he plans to get revenge on. 'Ruining this banquest for the mildly inspiring' Seems to me to be interpreted as a Person doing it not for the sense of what has inspired him to do it, but what he gains out of it.

When you're in black slacks with accentuating, off-white, pinstripes
Whoa, everything goes according to plan.

This is supposed to mean that he planned this to happen, making sure noone thinks that it happened by coincedence. Could also be a hint towards Mimes [French] Or perhaps a reference to Prison.

I'm the new cancer, never looked better, you can't stand it.
Because you say so under your breath.
You're reading lips "When did he get all confident?"

Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Never looked better, and you can't stand it

'Im the new cancer, Never looked better, you can't stand it' Refers that before, he had a great relationship, but he didn't know he was dying a little bit more every time they hung out.

Because you say so under your breath.
You're reading lips "When did he get all confident?"

Means she believes that 'She' Broke up with him because he was insecure and unconfident. And also wasn't up with the fashion world. Now he's all of them, and he's ready to magnify that by hosting a party.

Next is a trip to the, the ladies room in vain, and
I bet you just can't keep up (keep up) with these fashionistas, and
Tonight, tonight you are, you are a whispering campaign.
I bet to them your name is "Cheap", I bet to them you look like shh...

So, the 'Ex-Girlfriend' Leaves to go cry or anything else in the bathroom as they ussually do. And now SHE feels out of place because she can't have him, and no one remembers or centers her because she looks different and everyone views her with different eyess.

Talk to the mirror, oh, choke back tears.
And keep telling yourself that "I'm a diva!"
Oh and the smokes in that cigarette box on the table,
they just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin

She begins to reassure herself, but then has doubts. SHe starts to remember what it was like to have everyone like her, but noone does, so she begins to cry. She has to tell herself she is beautiful, meaning she never is. And the cigarette box could be a reference to his heart, or her heart. Because once you start, you addicted, and you never want to quit. But the heart is laced with poison, and could potentially kill you quickly, or make you suffer slowly.

And I know, and I know, it just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up.
I've never been so surreptitious, so of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch.

This refers to the fact that when ever anyone goes out, they are always going to be judged no matter what. Except when the couple were going out, they didn't care about any other judgements. And now, he's trying to keep it a secret, so noone knows, until the moment when someone takes a sip of the punch, which IF they have survived the rest of the party, they will be finished when he breaks her heart, ' Or sips the punch '

Submitted by: anonymous
Added: 2007-09-27 00:40:02     Rating:

And you've all overlooked 'distress', 'off-white', or reptilian who 'spikes the punch'.
satanist!
same for 'Demon Hunter' and 'Sanctus Real'.
(and many other bands; just gotta PAY attention - satanists love double meanings & twisted talk)

Submitted by: anonymous
Added: 2007-10-06 12:41:44     Rating:

Okay, I might be wrong about this, but this is my interpretation:
"please leave all overcoats.." down to "out of place and under-dressed" symbolizes taking off all the pretenses that people put on for others-- and being the only one to do so.
"i'm wreacking this evening already" down to "for the mildly inspiring" means that this guy went to a party with the thought of screwing someone else's night over in mind. Not to have fun, just to get revenge on someone.
his choice of dress (the black slacks mentioned in the next line) are to show that his plan is working.

"I'm the new cancer" thru "when did he get all confident?" means that the girl he's getting revenge on is wondering how he worked up the nerve to do it. many types of cancer usually come from one form of addiction or another, and as the party goers become 'addicted' to him, he's spreading rumors about the girl and basically steling all the attention. This guy was probably really shy when she first knew him, so this is a shocker.

"next is a trip to the" thru "i'm a diva!" means that tthe girl eventually retired to the bathroom to cry and complain to herself. The rumors are spreading like wildfire and now everyone at the party is calling her "cheap" and making her out to be a slut.

"on and the smokes" thru "laced with nitroglyceren" is either once again comparing the guy to an addictive substence, or showing that she's trying to calm down by lightin up and he's mocking her by telling her that in the end, she's only killing herself.

the last few lines are the guy seeming to have doubts about his plan, then 'spiking the punch' or taking advantage of the girl's instant faith in him. I don't think he literally got her drunk, he just pretended that he was sorry, and when she believed him, he hurt her a lot worse

Submitted by: randomperson
Added: 2007-11-09 21:31:21     Rating:

I love this song! Panic! at the disco are amazing with all of this different music. This song isn't hard to understand so I won't say anything else. :)

Submitted by: anonymous
Added: 2008-01-13 14:06:42     Rating:

I heard a rumor that it was about Star Jones

Submitted by: anonymous
Added: 2008-02-11 14:14:12     Rating:

This is probably a continuation of "I write sins not tragedies".
think about it, the narrator is the lover, and the girl is the bride. It's a long shot but maybe that's it...

Submitted by: anonymous
Added: 2008-03-07 10:24:05     Rating:

I agree with Marie12345 in a way. I think all the songs on this album are connected in a way, and all tell a story, judging by their previous stage performances and interviews. I don't think that they were originally intentionally connected, but I think Panic sort of changed a few things so that they were. I agree that the girl in this song is probably the same one as the one in Lying and perhaps I Write Sins...? Anyway, I think the narrator comes to this party intending to crash it and show up the girl, who is probably his ex, and show everyone how fake she is to get back at her or whatever. I think that when he says, "I'm the new cancer..." he's saying he's like cancer, spreading the news of himself as well as the rumors about his ex as quickly as cancer spreads...

Submitted by: anonymous
Added: 2008-03-25 22:55:56     Rating:

I think the song is talking about a girl who fancies herself to be a "diva" and is trying to be someone important so she can be the center of attention. The narrator may have been a former friend or boyfriend who she left behind to try and become popular. The song makes it seem like the diva is having a really hard time fitting in with those above her league, and then the former friend/boyfriend shows up at the party and as the line goes "I'm the new cancer," he's infecting the party, even when she's trying to ignore him. He's ruining the evening for her, and he's loving it because of what she did to him. I think the whole nitroglycerin line was a metaphor. Something deadly only after a very long time can become deadly very quickly, maybe the relationship between the diva and the ex friend/boyfriend. Not sure though.

Submitted by: anonymous
Added: 2008-03-27 11:06:34     Rating:

I'd just like to state that nitroglycerin isn't poisonous. It's explosive.

Submitted by: anonymous
Added: 2008-03-28 23:38:12     Rating:

I think this song has multiple meanings in general.. but that's just me. but I'm thinking its mostly about how people are fake and gossip and such
at the begging about the taking off of coats and top hats and canes they are saying to stop lying and being fake.. be your own person for once...
also I think when they say something like "I'm the new cancer" they are talking about his rumor and how he is the new gossip in town and such

Submitted by: anonymous
Added: 2008-04-27 02:09:27     Rating:

I think that it is about revenge and it makes a lot of sense 'Im the new 'cancer' I've never looked better and you can't stand it' 'talk to the mirror choke back tears and keep telling yourself IM a DIVA" "and I know and I know it just dosnt feel like a night out with no one sizing you up! iv never been so surreptitious so of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch!"
Surreptitious: acting in a stealthy way

Submitted by: anonymous
Added: 2008-05-06 07:13:29     Rating:

Yeah, can I point out, that everyone's saying "who poisoned the ciggies".

You put nitroglycerin on something that you LIGHT, with a FLAME, its not going to poison you sweetheart, that things gunna make one hell of a boom.

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