Panic! At The Disco: There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet Meaning
There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet Lyrics
From that moment you'll be out of place and underdressed.
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it.
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring...
anonymous Jan 2nd, 2012 1:03pm report
This took A LOT of thinking.... but I think I got it!
I agree with the people who say this is part 4 to the trilogy. The people who say he's ruining the wedding reception, not so much. The wedding was called off, so there couldn't possibly be a reception.
I'm going to post the verses and a simplified version under them.
There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet
(I'm putting laced cigarettes on your reserved table in the hopes that you smoke them and die, but you don't know that yet)
Please, leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman.
From that moment you'll be out of place and underdressed.
I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it.
Ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and...
(Please leave everything that makes you feel rich, special, and confident at the door. It'll make you feel awkward. I'm ruining this for you, just like you ruined my life.)
When you're in black slacks with accentuating, off-white, pinstripes
Whoa, everything goes according to plan.
([people think this is referring to a man. Girls can wear slacks, but they're usually referred to dress pants. "Dress pants" didn't go with the rhythm too well.] When you look like a basic person, your confidence is gone and you'll unknowingly fall into my trap out of desperation.)
I'm the new cancer, never looked better, you can't stand it.
Because you say so under your breath.
You're reading lips "When did he get all confident?"
(I'm the new trouble maker, wreaking havoc on innocent peoples' lives now, not you. But I do it with confidence, and you hate it.)
Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
Never looked better, and you can't stand it
(Same as above)
Next is a trip to the, the ladies room in vain, and
I bet you just can't keep up (keep up) with these fashionistas, and
Tonight, tonight you are, you are a whispering campaign.
I bet to them your name is "Cheap", I bet to them you look like shh...
(You go into the bathroom to either cry it out or apply makeup...whatever you need to do to feel better about yourself, because you'll never be like them.)
Talk to the mirror, oh, choke back tears.
And keep telling yourself that "I'm a diva!"
Oh and the smokes in that cigarette box on the table,
they just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin.
(Keep convincing yourself that you're a confident person that nobody can beat down. Then go have a [laced] cigarette to cool down.)
And I know, and I know, it just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up.
I've never been so surreptitious, so of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch.
(I know it doesn't feel normal without anyone trying to compete with you. I've never been so stealthy and coniving, but it won't matter when you're drunk.)
Hope this helps :D
anonymous Jun 12th, 2006 6:22pm report
I don't necessarily think there is a connection to this song with any others on the rest of the CD, as many of you keep assuming. I think this song is about the narrator, presumably a man, who comes to a social gathering and is the center of attention while his ex-girlfriend hates it because she used to be the center of attention so she tries to reassure herself that she's still the it girl despite everyone turning against her. The phrase "new cancer" seems to me to be a mocking term for someone who is in the limelight since P! At The Disco are prone to sarcasm in their lyrics. None of you mention the connection between the ominous lines "everything goes according to plan" "[the cigarettes] just so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin" "so of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch". I think the narrator is making discreet murder attempts on the ex-girlfriend, perhaps because of some wrongdoing she did to him in the past, so it's not just about him bringing himself up in society and rubbing it in her face-it could be somewhat deeper than that.
anonymous Jun 12th, 2006 6:25pm report
Also, when you think about the name of the song "There's A Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet" implies that the narrator might have put the laced cigarettes on a specific table according to the number table his ex-girlfriend made reservations at or had been told to sit at.
anonymous Dec 6th, 2017 12:13am report
Possibly about the narrator trying to murder his ex-lover.
The narrator goes to a social gathering/event. That's how the song starts. He comes in and leaves his coat with the doorman. He loves being there.
"Everything goes according to plan."
What's his plan?
He also says he is the new cancer, which is known to kill people.
Then he narrates how his ex-lover is upset and goes to the bathroom. She isn't the center of attention anymore.
"Oh and the smokes in that cigarette box, on the table, so happen to be laced with nitroglycerin."
Possibly, another murder attempt by the narrator towards his ex-lover.
"So ofcours you'll be distracted when I spike the punch."
What did he put in the punch?
anonymous Feb 24th, 2015 2:29pm report
My interpretation of this song is more metaphorical and I see it as a very good description of social anxiety and the song is sung from anxiety's perspective towards its victim. lines such as "I'm ruining this night already" could be a reference to the start of a panic attack or just general anxiety. another good line is "you're reading lips, when did he get all confident?" assuming that whoever is having their lips read has just said "when did he get all confident?" could imply that the sufferer is overthinking the situation he/she is in. when we are told that the cigarettes "just so happen to be laced with nitro-glycerine" one could think that he/she is attempting to calm themselves down in a surreptitious way.
The lines nearer the beginning of the song namely "from that moment you'll be out of placed and underdressed" strongly depict a feeling of awkwardness and inaptitude
anonymous May 23rd, 2013 5:26pm report
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anonymous Jan 5th, 2013 1:10am report
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anonymous Feb 16th, 2012 2:14am report
Well, whenever I listen to this song (I love it :D) I think of a secret agent... You know, he is lacing cigarettes with nitro glycerin, spiking punch, etc. it just sounds that way...
anonymous Dec 31st, 2011 12:45pm report
its nice to see people still commenting on these songs. but i think its about revenge in some form or another (lacing the cigarettes/spiking the punch)
but i give credit to everyone who tried too look into these songs. theyre pretty hard to interpret/have have double meanings.
anonymous Dec 29th, 2011 12:27am report
its talking about society, no man or ex girl friends. think about it. it says ill ruin the banquet and then it talks about they wont let you stand out. it says that society will suppress you, judge you, shun if you don't conform, and kill you (physically and psychologically) it also talks about girl looking in the mirror and say someone looks like $H--. thats the judging part.
anonymous Nov 6th, 2011 11:20am report
I think this is just a comment on society, and how superficial it is
anonymous Oct 18th, 2011 10:03am report
Two words: private school.
anonymous Jun 18th, 2011 6:46pm report
The song is basically about a couple who's love is failing them. The man keeps sneaking out of his house to go to a whorehouse. Hope this helps!
anonymous Jun 8th, 2011 6:16pm report
I agree with a lot of these interpretations, but I think some people are thinking way too murderous for the whole "nitroglycerin" part. I was writing this thing that needed a popular villain in it, so I chose the Joker and decided to look up some stuff about him. One thing I learned was that one of his weapons was a cigar laced with nitroglycerin, so I think that either what the narrator is doing IS actually muderous, or really he's just calling his ex a "joke". I heard somewhere that Brendon likes Batman, so maybe Ryan does too. *shrugs* Just my interpretation :P
anonymous May 20th, 2011 5:41pm report
I believe this song was placed at the end to let us know that the story has a good ending. Its obvious that the girl wronged him in the past and now he is the "new cancer" aka Mr. popular and she wants to be in his spotlight but its too late. She had her chance to be with him but she messed up and now that he is not depressed and has manned up, he has become very popular and successful so now he is blessed and a better person for what she put him through in the past. He still has some hate for her because he thinks of ways to hurt her...laced cigarettes and spiked punch... because he still loves her but he doesn't want to be with her but she clearly wants him back.
anonymous Apr 11th, 2011 4:28pm report
I thought this song was about the film 'the royal tenenbaums', the father tells everyone he has cancer and in doing so becomes a cancer of the family: "infecting" them so that they satisfy his need for attention. He is the "new cancer". There are also a couple of lines from the film that are in the song. There's something about 'never looking better' and the father says he's 'loving every minute of it'.
The doorman also is in on the father's trick to win his way back in to the family. Leaving 'overcoats canes and tophats', everything you'd trust a doorman with, makes the family exposed and shows how surreptitious the partnership of the father and the doorman. The family 'out of place and underdressed.'
anonymous Apr 1st, 2011 4:14am report
The story is has a lot to do with the lacing of the cigarettes. As it was said before, the reason for the number tables is because, at one table, the cigarettes are laced for a particular person.
It is simple, A Fever You Can't Sweat Out is a story about man and a woman that meet, The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide Is Press Coverage is the beginning, from when they meet. The next few songs are about their life together. Lying Is The Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off is when the man and woman decide to take a break and refers to how she is now seeing another man. Intermission is their break.
The story then skips a few years 'til when the man and another woman are together and are getting married. But It's Better If You Do is the bachelor party, I Write Sins Not Tragedies is the wedding.
Then it comes to There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet where the man and his wife are going out to a party where his ex-girlfriend will also be attending. The cigarettes are laced for her because he is still upset about how they broke up and how she left him to see another man.
Build God Then We'll Talk is the end of the story. The man is now cheating on his wife, though she knows he is. It is the end of their story.
anonymous Feb 27th, 2011 2:29pm report
I think that this song is about a woman who's climbing the social status and trying to convince herself that she belongs there:
"Keep telling yourself that "I'm a diva" "
The narrator is an enemy/ex boyfriend who is much more popular than her or actually earned himself a good social status where as hers is built on lies. The narrator is also "the new cancer" which could mean that he is spreading quickly but really he is deadly or malicious.
"When I spike the punch" implies that he is trying ruin her reputation and make her make a fool of herself. I also think that the title is referring to the different standings of people as if they are sat at different tables according to their place in life.
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