What does Maynard's Dick mean?

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Tool: Maynard's Dick Meaning


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Maynard's Dick Lyrics

It's all an open center
Opens up and lets the wind lift him away
It doesn't have to feel water
It's just a place that feels right with him
Kinda like the way you're breathing
I kinda like the way you keep looking away
Would you like to...


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    May 18th, 2006 5:57am report

    I agree with the general "having sex" theory. But I think that, as in songs like Stinkfist, there is a moral questioning behind this song. One of the things I noted was that the sexual imagery in the line "kind of like the way you're breathing" (ie. panting, as in sex) is immediately followed by the line "kind of like the way you keep looking away" (as in disgust). This seems to suggest to me that the "receiver" of Maynard's Dick recognises that although she is getting pleasure out of it, she is disgusted by the man psychologically and may have morally compromised herself by engaging in sex with him. Maybe the dick is symbolic of a celebrities (or anyone's) ego. Because of the arrogance of the man with the sizable penis (and consequently, ego) the woman (or whoever) is disgusted by the man. But when it comes down to testing her morals against her more carnal instincts, she ends up giving in to sexual gratification over moral standards. All she can do to keep herself from the reality her own hypocracy is to look away.


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    Oct 16th, 2016 10:12pm report

    See Hooker With a Penis and Stinkfist.
    Big Tool fan here. My interpretation (for 90%-odd Tool songs are open to individual interpretation) is, coupled with the simple chord progression, that this song is about not only Maynard's schlong, but about how mainstream music fans would react to Tool's discography (and any other intentionally weird band).
    "What is this weird shit? Why is he singing about his cock?"
    I see it as yet another insult to mainstream fans, whom I reckon Maynard hates more than the "OMG SO SPIRITUAL I UNDERSTAND THE UNIVERSE THANKS TO LSD AND TOOL. I HATE CONSUMERISM TOO, BUT I'M GONNA BUY MORE TOOL MERCH" fanboys.
    He's also basically saying he can write literally any random shit and fans would buy it and praise it because "Muh Tool", thus they ride Maynard's Dick and serve only to add to the metaphorical mileage of holes said metaphorical dick has slid, six metaphorical inches of dick at a time.


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    Nov 10th, 2013 11:48pm report

    I understand that many of Tools songs have hidden message's/meaning. I think this one maybe straight forward though. I've always heard that Maynard has a huge dick and saw a pic from a concert of him in long john's that backed it up. It may still have a hidden meaning but, it is also about his big dick.


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    May 28th, 2010 5:06am report

    I am torn between whether its a joke or if it has the meaning.

    It might have been a joke because its kind of funny. and also he is human, not all of their songs have to have a meaning.

    But hes so straight forward about what he wants [which obviously is sex] instead of masking it like everyone else. Hes obviously not hiding the fact that he wants to have sex.


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    Jun 19th, 2009 6:29pm report

    pretty sure that maynard wrote this song for a reason. he is basically sending a message in this song that i think is supposed poke fun at what is considered modern day pop music. mainstream music is really turning more and more ridiculous and meaningless. I think maynard just sat down and said, you know what? Im gonna write a song about my dick and people will like it. you must admit the song has a way more mainstreamed sound than any other tool song, and also the burping and farting noises at the end definately add to the whole joke affect.


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    Jul 22nd, 2008 7:36am report

    It's about his Dick.


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    May 4th, 2008 5:35am report

    I'll say that this one is nothing but a joke, with an added clause. Nothing can be written without meaning, so much of Tool's music is written about people who were trying to prove just that. Everything we say or do, espescially in music, which is by nature such an emotional form of expression, draws from the collective unconscious. We cannot stop the constant whisperings of the archetypes, all we can do is squeegee our third fucking eyes to hear it better. Whether it was intended as a joke or not: there will be some meaning behind in one form or another.

    All I'm saying is, don't insult those who are trying to find a meaning, it just means there third eyes have been opened.


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    Apr 21st, 2008 4:25pm report

    He was a comedian after all...


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    Feb 5th, 2008 2:56pm report

    This song is very obviously a joke. It was released very early in their career. They were probably just throwing something together to get used to playing with each other.

    Plus, if all of you think Maynard has such a brilliant mind, which I'm not arguing, why wouldn't you think he's capable of having a sense of humor? If Tool released a song called Suck My Dick and just had Maynard screaming "Suck my dick" over and over, I would bet my fucking life that someone would try and put some significant meaning behind it.

    I mean, hell, Maynard still is human. For me, humor is the only way I can stay sane. I love writing serious songs, but I've even written a couple of oddball ones.


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    Mar 4th, 2007 3:39pm report

    All Tool songs have subjective meanings. The name "Tool" represents what they want to be; a tool for using one's imagination or triggering our spiritual divinity. You can think it's a joke, just as everyone else can make their own personal interpretation. That's the whole point. To think of the infinite possibilities.


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    Mar 1st, 2007 3:50am report

    I'm pretty sure it's open for interpretation guys... :]

    I LOVE TOOL! AND I MET MAYNARD! He is the strangest person but man he turns me on....



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    Dec 7th, 2006 12:00pm report

    not all their song have to have a fucking meaning.
    shit dude.
    dont overthink things so much.

    This interpretation has been marked as poor. view anyway


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    Sep 21st, 2006 9:31pm report

    Every song has a meaning. What, did you actually think Tool just pulled this one right out of their ass?


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    Sep 20th, 2006 9:28pm report

    It's funny to see how so many people try to attach a vague meaning to something so obviously written as a joke. The band was named "Tool" after people like that.

    This interpretation has been marked as poor. view anyway


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    Apr 9th, 2006 4:28am report

    Its about Maynard having sex
    and how he experiences it


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    Jan 23rd, 2006 1:44pm report

    It's about the great mind of Maynard's dick.

    This interpretation has been marked as poor. view anyway

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