Musicislife_1214's Profile

Points Total:

16  

 

Location:

Texas  

 

About Me:

I’m a very outgoing, HUGE hearted, tortured soul. I have a love for music that is more like a need than just a desire to hear it. It’s definitely therapeutic and serves a great purpose for a lot of people. I completely believe in music education for my two boys. Anytime a “classic” comes on that I believe they may have not heard yet, I ask who is the artist and do they know the name of the song. Blew my mind the first time my youngest, at the time I think he was about 6, and I were in the car and I said oh, you have know this song and who sings it. He told me he knew it was Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen then sang the song word for word. It was hilarious and I was quite proud that his older brother introduced it to him and I didn’t even know. Now I’m not sure why but something is pulling at my heart to share this so stop reading if you don’t wish to hear about personal struggles and if intrigued there maybe a reason for that, so here goes.

I suffer from bipolar depression and am in active recovery from addiction. If it wasn’t for my kids I wouldn’t be here today because I, to this day, wonder how I’m going to live my life without eventually killing myself but know I have to be here for my children. I’ve sought help in every form and am still struggling with this Hell that has sucked every ounce of hope, happiness, and light out of my life. Although I have lived with these diseases or self-destructive behaviors, however you see them, I know if I hadn’t been dealt this selfish, disgusting, and utter painful mental health problems, I’d be a different person with a personality of someone I would feel sorry for because I see it in my family. Judgmental, vanity, close-mindedness to name a few is no way I’d want to live. They are miserable in there own sense because they view the world and feel they have to be perfect in every aspect and are basically fake because people only see the best of them and are NEVER allowed to mention feelings that are negative or in need of help because they are perfect. I got in trouble once for telling my aunt when I was 17 years old that her son that was 16 at the time of when this happened and I was 4, he had molested me and that I didn’t feel comfortable staying at her house with him there. It wasn’t a situation where my parents had a talk with them or me and did something about it, no, I was scolded for repeating it. The time it happened everyone in the house knew something happened that night because they found me in the bathroom the next morning lying asleep in the fetal position. So, of course, I’m the black sheep that my own brother and two sisters will stay away from because I embarrass them. About a month ago I was fired because “of attendance” I had a stroke and a stint in a mental health facility for suicidal thoughts and had to take several weeks off, I was a manager of a very well known and successful company and know how to conduct myself in a professional way and never go around sharing my torturous thoughts, this is the only social media site I’ve mentioned this because who going to know me here, anyway, my family I guess believes that since I do have these issues I have them on full display at all times therefore would bring there name to shame if people knew we were related. I feel sorry for them for having to live with views and beliefs like that. I do not understand how I got into such a personal life “novel” about my private life on a MUSIC interpretation site but something compelled me to do so, so maybe someone that reads it needed to know that if they can understand the downward spiral that can take over so fast you feel you’re drowning then, you ARE NOT alone. Obviously I cannot give hope to anyone because I have none but I do believe others can benefit from the many different types of help out there. If you do need the help, don’t wait, don’t be like my family and just keep quiet, Hell you could contact me and I can find you the help you may need. I extremely well versed in different treatment options and just because it didn’t work for me, at least YET, it may for you. Thank you for reading and apologize for the completely out of context and inappropriate about me section on this sites profile of me.
Since I did tell such things I do not discuss on other social media accounts I will give my email address if anyone does feel the need to speak, seek help, or just need to have a rant fest. Now I’m saying that, I mean rant about their troubles not your judgmental opinions about me or anyone else that struggles with any kind of mental health or physical health issues. That’s just plain immature and would show you are just like the family members I was speaking of and why waste your time? It would only show your character flaws and although there’s good in you, you are choosing to only show the bad and that’s what’s wrong with society. Bless you and much love to all!
This email address is only for the purpose of people in seek of help or responding in need of someone to talk to. This is not my primary account.
heretohelp0512@gmail.com