Tool: Pushit Meaning
While you were begging me to stay
Take care not to make me enter
If I do we both may disappear
Know that I will choke until I swallow,
Choke this infant here before me.
What is this but my reflection?
Who am I...
anonymous Apr 17th, 2007 4:20pm report
"Have you ever loved someone so much you had to kill them?" Maynard is referring to his own ego self.
"Saw the gap again today, while you were beggin' me to stay" the gap between his lower-level more primal conscious and his higher awareness."
"take care not to make me enter, if I do we both may disappear." His higher self is the realization that there is no self so his ego self will not let it enter.
"I'm alive when you're touching me, alive when you're
shoving me down." When he indulges his ego he feels more alive because he has identity, but at the same time it's an illusion of desires which control him.
"But i'd trade it all for just a little piece of
miiiiiiiiiiiiiiind" Hes trying to find his true and higher self and would trade any illusion for real peace of mind.
"I must persuade
you another waaaaaaaaay" He needs to persuade his ego-self to somehow want to give itself up but not for the sake of itself.
generally the songs about a battle within.
anonymous Sep 20th, 2006 9:27pm report
On one of Tool's tours Maynard said before playing "Pushit": "have you ever loved someone so much that you had to kill them?"
pushit is a song about a relationship between two lovers.
"saw that gap again today, while you were beggin me to stay" she is begging him to stay with her, this reveals a very grim gap/empty hole that he returns to when he falls back in love with her. They both slip back into the gap due to the fact that they bolth still love each other, even though thier relationship will never last.
"if, when I say I might fade like a sigh if I stay,
you minimize my movement anyway, i must persaude you another way"
when he tells her he knows she will eventually get bored of him, she brings him even closer. So, he must persuade her another way. That doesn't work, and the pushing and shoving continues. She pushes him, and he shoves her away. "there is no love in fear" he fears that he might fall back into that gap again.
"staring down the hole again.
Hands are on my back again.
Survival is my only friend.
Terrified of what may come.
Yeah. Remember I will always love you,
as I claw your fucking throat away.
It will end no other way.
It will end no other wayyyyy!!!"
he falls back into the gap for the last time, he is fed up with loving her (as odd as that may sound) and brutally kills her because he knows it will end no other way.
anonymous Apr 1st, 2006 4:20am report
In this song I believe Maynard is definately talking about how love is a burden especially when it takes a turn for the worse. I listened to this song recently actually I listen to this song mostly every day because even though my ex-girlfriend still loves me she is dating my best friend. So therefore I detached myself. So Pushit is about how someone still loves him but he can't be with that person because of what she's done to him in the past. :) just what I belive.
anonymous Jun 2nd, 2014 6:37am report
I think it is about how Maynrds father would sometimes tie him up and abuse him. "I am somewhere I don't wanna be... Never wanna see that place again" He is at his childhood home. "Starin down the hall again, Hands are on my back again" He is tied up by his father at his childhood home. It could either be this or he really misses his mother who died from a stroke and couldn't save him from his father
anonymous Jul 15th, 2013 7:41am report
I have always perceived "Pushit" as an expression of long awaited awakening. "I will choke until I swallow" the infant is the divine child within, and he tears his own throat away. To me that represents humility. To be humbled our innocence must be compromised, for the sake of relinquishing ego. The pushing and shoving back and forth is with the ego/persona. He has to let go of old ideas that are limiting him.
anonymous May 31st, 2013 5:53pm report
Its about him looking at his ass in the mirror after his two week stint in LA County lock up.
anonymous Mar 7th, 2013 3:45pm report
I believe it's about a split personality or schizophrenia .. Could be himself but anyway .. Seeing the gap again don't push it or put shit on me or ill slip into gap again the gap being the realm of no control the spilt the bad temper...
I'll choke this infant someone this disorder could .. He sings choke until I swallow .. Which snap out of it ...
The reflection his himself saying who am I to judge or strike you down .. Love this lyric .. To me always question yourself what you do before you do it!!
And at the end hands tired no control if he goes too far he might gets lost if this happens he dies anger will kill her too or whatever put shit on it ..,
anonymous Jan 11th, 2013 1:45am report
I agree this is about the tragic complexity of domestic violence -
"if when I say 'i might fade like a sigh if I stay', you minimize my movement, anyway. I must persuade you another way.".....
"There's no love in fear. Staring down the hole again.
Hands around my back again. Survival is my only friend.
Terrified of what may come. Remember I will always love you, as I tear your fucking throat away. It will end no other way. It will end no other way."
anonymous Sep 11th, 2012 9:23pm report
Okay, I'm not even going to get all philosophical in explaining this, however, this song is completely about opiate addiction, but will only be understood by someone with personal experience... So, no point in explaining, if you've been there, or are close to someone who has, you get it!
anonymous Jan 13th, 2012 1:49am report
This will probably be dismissed but I think that everyone is missing the meaning of this one. Pushit is about abortionand the talk of striking and infant down, then "Cesaro Summability", the sounds of a newborn, then "Aenima", the flushing or purging of something. I feel Pushit is an unexpected pregnancy between two lovers and the impossible decision of terminating it. "What are you but my reflection?" Who am I to judge or strike you down?"
"Choke this infant here before me."
"I would trade it all (his child) for a just a little piece of mind."
Even the term pushit is like giving birth but the infant is pushing back and shoving him, making his life difficult.
"Remember I will always love you" even as he takes it's life for the most part.
He feels alive in the fact that this birth could possibly happen but he would give it all up to negate the responsibility. I feel he is convincing his lover to abort the child, to let her rest her trigger on his finger. The gap is the unknown, the future if they decide to have the child.
He is terrified of what may come and his own survival is all he can think about.
anonymous Aug 27th, 2011 8:14pm report
This song, to me, represents the relationship I have with my father. It can be great at times, but can turn to hell in an instant.
anonymous Aug 9th, 2011 8:16pm report
It is pretty obvious that Maynard is referring to himself in this song. I will choke until I swallow, choke this infant here before, what are you but my reflection. Who am I to judge or strike you down? It has to do with his struggles with fame, from its infancy before the release of Opiate, going through the breakthrough of Undertow. How he is treated, and how he is worshiped by fans. Also everything is written about him, he finds struggle in separating the two Maynards. The true person, and the rock star persona. Take care not to make me enter, if I do we both may disappear, refers to the temptations of fame, the drugs and various other addictions. If you do not have moral ground to stand on, and believe in nothing, you fail to exist as your old self, and a confused uncertain shell remains, with only your new addictions and vices to comfort you. His romance with fame is it allows him to do the things he truly wants to do in life, his battle is trying not to get sucked into the negative things that go along with fame.
anonymous Jul 2nd, 2011 7:48pm report
Every single meaning that has been and will be posted here is correct- for proof just look and the name the band chose for itself. Tool's beautiful music is written in such a way that it is possible for everyone to come away with a different interpretation and still be correct. Although the band members definitely wrote the song with a specific meaning in mind, this, and all of their songs are tools to help people overcome their problems.
anonymous Nov 23rd, 2010 11:17am report
Guitarprodigy has the best interpretation.
It's sung from the point of view of the abused member of an abusive relationship. The main topic it hits on is how so many people will stay in an abusive relationship because they still genuinely love the person that is beating (“pushing”) them down.
I don't see “the gap” as the brink of insanity though. Rather it is the threshold to the hole (“Staring down the hole again”) that she is being pushed into that will accept the abuse as the price she has to pay for his love.
The majority of the song is her struggle with trying to end the relationship despite loving her partner because she sees that if she accepts living in the 'hole' that it will kill her.
However, the love (and fear) brings them back together ("you minimize my movement") until she realizes that the only way she will be able to free herself from the abuse while preserving the love is to kill her partner. “remember I'll always love you, as I tear your fucking throat away”
It's a very tragic and depressing song, but at the same time beautiful. My favourite Tool song.
“Ever have someone love you so much that they tried to kill you? Or perhaps suck you down into a hole, and you had to kill them to get away? Me either.” Maynard, Philadelphia, 1996.
anonymous Nov 9th, 2010 11:09am report
actually it's about Maynard's experiences with child abuse and how he is fighting the urge to lash out at people that he cares about. The whole Remember I'll always love you, is from his parents telling him that as the abused him.
anonymous Aug 1st, 2009 8:27am report
this song is about fighting to achieve a higher consciousness but you yourself keeps pushing you down. "Put me someplace i dont want to be" the sensitive, vulnerable place you must put yourself in order to pull yourself up to the next level. We are all our own enemies when the circle makes a full turn around in every aspect of life. The fight to higher consciousness is a long and hard, battling no one and nothing but yourself. Yes, it can relate to a women and child shoving him down, giving him negative thoughts;feelings to keep him from becoming one. All of us cant relate to the exact experience, but the simple feeling expressed can be felt by all who walk this earth.
anonymous Jul 26th, 2009 7:51pm report
TO ME... this song is about a personal, internal battle. Maybe that is because this is what I can relate to myself and my personality. But, in the case of bipolar, depression, or even drug addiction, you may like that side of yourself, but if you don't kill it, you will both disappear... The good side, and the bad side.
So, you try to push the negative side away, it tries to push the positive side away, and the battle goes on and on in cycle.
I don't know, this is what I get from it, especially from the live salival version... when I feel that song, it literally can make me cry. It is amazing and one of my absolute favorites. I can get lost there for awhile.
I suppose I could break the song apart piece by piece to better explain myself, but I don't have the time right this moment... perhaps later. Again, that's just my opinion of the song and how I "feel" it.
anonymous May 17th, 2009 5:15am report
I think it's about the stuggle one has with the idiot, monkey mind. The constant chatter.
The gap is chaos, the void. An opportunity for silence, and change.
Our subconscious mind is quite infantile until one begins working with it. And often times the voices that haunt us are quite childish upon examination.
I think this song might even have something to do with the Gnostic idea of Archons, based upon my understanding of it.
Inner demons. A mind that may be from outside our own. It never shuts up and can put us in a really bad place when we try and quiet the flow. Stopping the internal dialogue.
This is the Artist's declaration to the Little Idiot mind that the time has come, the game is over. The petty voices will be stilled, and left behind - maybe.
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