My Chemical Romance: This Is How I Disappear Meaning
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This Is How I Disappear Lyrics
Drain all the blood and give the kids a show
This dark night
A séance down below
There's things that I have done
Should ever know
And without you is how I disappear
anonymous Jun 16th, 2008 6:27pm report
I think this goes with the three cheers for sweet revenge storyline
I think it's about the man who has to kill the souls to get with his girlfriends "Drain all the blood and give the kids a show " I think that line4 talks about all the people he killed and how he's getting so much attention from the newspaper and such
"A seance down below "
I think its talking about the devil watching him seeing if he is doing his job
"And without you is how I disappear
And live my life alone
forever now "
Talking about the girl that went to heaven and how he will try to keep killing peaple to see her again
and that if he doesn't he'll never see any other person
"Who walks among the famous living dead "
i guess he's talking about his first visit to hell and his deal with the devil
"that all the good girls go
well heaven knows "
Probably about his girlfriend that went to heaven and he went to hell
"Can you hear me cry out to you? "
Him being sad about not seeing his girl
"I'm not with you anymore
I'm just a ghost "
He's dead and not with her
"So I can't hurt you anymore
so I can't hurt you anymore "
Probably talking about the people he had to kill he obviously failed
You wanna see how far down I can sink?
Let me go! "
Going back to hell.
I think that the song is about the patient. He is talking about a relationship he had with a girl but she broke it off. Now that he is dying, he is thinking about it. He is telling her that she left him, so now that he is dying, he is going to disappear out of her life and wont be able to "hurt you anymore". The song says "and now
You wanna see how far down
I can sink?". This is him basically him telling the girl that he's dying now and to not worry because she wont see him again because he knows that he is probably going to hell because of the bad things he has done ("There's things that I have done
You never Should ever know") and that she will go to heaven ("Tell me if it's so
That all the good girls go to heaven").
"Can you hear me cry out to you?
Words I thought I'd choke on
I'm really not so with you anymore
I'm just a ghost"
is him basically saying to her that he is dying, but since he left her he has been a ghost to her and now he really will be gone and does she care?
"Let me out
Fuck!!" He is asking her to 'release her hold on him' because he still loves her.
He is saying that he is dying now and will disappear out of her life "forever now" and is she going to mind at all.
anonymous Jul 2nd, 2019 7:55pm report
Okay, so I think this song is about "The Patient's" loved one, who is dead, longing for her to come back to him.
The first paragraph is about the lives that he ended (I think.) The last two lines in the first paragraph are about the things that he thinks his love doesn't know, but I think she probably knows what he has done cause she is in heaven/a ghost.
"And without you is how I disappear and live my life alone forever now." I think that whole line is about that the loved one is dead, and he can't bring her back, so he has to live his life alone forever then.
The third paragraph is about the love being famous, and that all the girls and boys think about her. "And if you could talk to me..." I think those lines are about "The Patient" asking Jesus if his love is in heaven/or not, and that Jesus only knows.
The fifth paragraph is about the love calling out to him, saying that she's "just a ghost".
But then "The Patient" comes in asking, "So I can't hurt you anymore?"
The sixth paragraph is about, in my opinion, I think it is referring him "sinking" into drug addictions. "Let me go" is wanting him to end the drug addictions, but he can't. When "The Patient" says "F*CK!", I think the main character has finally wrapped himself around drugs, and cannot stop no matter what.
The practical last paragraph of the song (not counting "And without you is how I disappear x2", I think is about the love realizing his bender, trying to tell him that he could call for quits (who would want to end his drugs? Totally not the victim). And then she tells him that she is so far away from him, because she has finally rested in heaven, and that her spirit can't wander around him anymore.
Remember, this is just only a theory, and that this whole theory could be entirely wrong!
anonymous Oct 24th, 2015 10:21pm report
So...I have a theory about this song. I believe it's about the paitent and a girl. See,he was an awful person his whole life. It's mentioned in Dead! and in this song ("There's things that I have done you never should ever know"). Then the song mentions a "séance down below". So I think this means that he is a ghost. He died. And somebody is trying to contact him. I believe that person is his girlfriend. Well,actually,his ex girlfriend. I believe she left him because she thought he was dangerous and an awful person and she didn't want to have anything to do with him. Later in the song he says "And if you could talk to me,tell me if it's so that all the good girls go to heaven..." so I think that confirms it. So when she tries to communtacte with his ghost he says that he doesn't care anymore. He is going to disappear without her and live his life alone. He was devastated when she left him because he felt like she was the only one who loved him. Now he doesn't care anymore. At the end he sarcasticly says: "I'm really not so with you anymore,I'm just a ghost,so I can't hurt you anymore..." which shows that he doesn't care about her and doesn't need her anymore. You could also say that is confirmes she left him because he was afraid of him.
Now,this girl might actually be the same girl mentioned in Three Cheers and in Bullets,the one he kills 1000 people for which could also be the reason why he misses her so much.
She went straight to heaven and he got a task to kill 1000 evil people to be with her.
Another theory could be that this song says what would have happened if he didn't accept the task and decided to move on.
anonymous Dec 26th, 2011 12:22pm report
I figured it out! In three cheers for sweet revenge - the guy makes a deal with the devil to kill 1000 men to see his girlfriend again. We I think he doesn't see her again again. So the black parade is about the ending of his life and how he is gonna go to hell, because of his crimes. Well thats my opinion - I could be way off!
anonymous Jul 6th, 2011 7:32am report
i think the patient is dead by this song..and throughout the rest of the album..he's a ghost..if he could talk to her..
he's realizing hes dead thinking about his life..it's just raw emotion..it isn't clear or all spelled out because thats not how anyone really thinks
mcr said themselves welcome to the black parade is about death coming for him..in the form of the patients fondest memory..a parade.
anonymous Jan 11th, 2011 1:19pm report
I think that this song it basically about a lost person that has a lot of regrets and is full of anger.
anonymous Dec 31st, 2010 12:33pm report
This song is most certainly a reflection on a relationship with a woman who has died. The Patient is remorseful of the fact that she isn't around to see him through the end of his life, because not only is she dead, she's in Heaven ("and if you could talk to me, tell me if it's so that all the good girls go to Heaven") - and the Patient believes he's most likely going to Hell, because of the things "that I have done that you should never ever know." More evidence proving that he believes he's destined for Hell is his saying, "And now you want to see how far down I can sink?" He's going to die, so he's either going to RISE UP to Heaven or SINK DOWN to Hell. At this frustration, he also cries out, "Let me out! FUCK!" Basically, the patient is remorseful of his life, starting with his closest romantic relationship, with a girl who is now dead and cannot possibly help him.
anonymous Apr 9th, 2010 4:21pm report
Its all connected sorta, in my point of view the end is introducing you to this mans life. dead is like, for me thats this doctor is telling him that he's dying and i think its because of like drinking and drugs (the sharpest lives). Now in This Is How I Disappear is, his wife is pissed about his partying and he's dying. So she leaves him. Idk my opinion.
rydenexists Dec 29th, 2008 12:29pm report
i think gerard is talking about a guy that is breaking up with his girlfriend. he killed people to get attention and the guy abused his girlfriend trying to kill her. they break up and he disappears from her life. she isnt taking it to well. she loved him. she finally dies and goes to hevean. he goes to hell. he sinks deeper and deeper into hell and she can no longer see him. its sorta in the girls perspective
BristolCTgirl Jul 6th, 2008 7:29am report
I think it may be about being molested as a child. Then the molester dies but the victim is obviously still haunted by the thought of what went on. It switches points of view, from the molester to the victim or it's the conversation in the victims head about what went on. When you've had something like that happen to you, it is sometimes how people find closure with it.
MCRocker666 Jul 5th, 2007 7:13pm report
This is the 3rd of the 14 songs in the story of The Patient's death. "To unexplain the unforgivable" means he wants to forget about the wrong he's done in the past, since there is no future (as we found out in DEAD!)"Without you is how I disappear" he is talking about someone he loves leaving him (most likely died).. and now he has to finish his short life alone. "Who walks among the famous living dead?" He is talking about the one he lost, she is on the other side. "And if you could talk to me, tell me if it's so. That all the good girls go to heaven? Well heaven knows." He is asking for the girl he lost to tell him weather she is in heaven, where he hopes he is going.
anonymous Jul 2nd, 2007 7:19am report
I think it's about his drug and alcohol addiction and without he sees himself as nothing.
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