Pink: Try Meaning
Song Released: 2012
How it all turned to lies?
Sometimes I think that it’s better to never ask why
Where there is desire there is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame someone’s bound to get burned
But just because it...
I think I have listened to this song about 1000 times. Literally. I love this song. It is sung with so much emotion, that it actually sucks you in and makes you listen and pay attention.
For me, the meaning is that you will fall in love, over and over again, and even though it will not always be right, you cant just let that be the end of it. Part of the learning experience is that you will get burned many times, in order for you to be able to find the one that is right for you. BUT, in the same vain, you will also get burned by the one that is right for you. Sometimes, in the right relationship, no matter how many times you get burned, you still have to get up and try again.
It is not a complicated song, and its straight forward and to the point, i think at a stage as well, she is not sure what the answers are of the questions she is asking, but she knows that you have to get up and try again when you fall down, even if its not with the same person.
I dont know everything that is happening in Pink's life, or what drove her to write this song, but Ive basically taken it and adapted it to my own personal situation. I am with a man that I have known for the past 6 years, we have been friends and chatted on and off. I always thought that he was a hardcore man that had no emotion, until one day he let me see his emotions, he opened up and told me everything, and it was because of that, that I fell in love with him.
I was burned once before with him, we dated 5 years ago, we were both young and stupid. And i think he also got burned with that experience. after that we went our seperate ways, and have now come back together.
The part where she sings "Where there is desire" I desire him, and he desires me, and this has sparked a flame, and the flame seemed to eat us both up. The burning bit came in the one day when he was chatting to the first girl that he ever loved. We had just started dating again (for the second time) and he had a very intimate conversation with her. I came across this conversation and read bits of it. Every word that I read cut me a little deeper inside. I wanted to let go and walk away before I fell any deeper, but for some reason I decided that I need to get up, clean my wounds and try again.
Its been almost a year since that incident, and it hasn't happened again. We are planning to get married next year, and the whole experience made us stronger as a couple, because instead of throwing the whole relationship away because of that, we embraced each other and worked through it, TOGETHER.
"You gotta get up and try, try, try" and when you do, you will get the rewards in the end... its a beautiful song. Not morbidly sad as everyone seems to make it out to be, I actually think its meant to be more encouraging than anything else.
And no... I don't wonder any more about what he is doing. I trust my instincts and I trust him. and that is all I need.
anonymous Dec 12th, 2012 12:47am report
I think this powerful song can have various meanings and will talk to various people in a different way, depending on what they're going through. The words are simple, but I think the meaning can vary a lot.
In my situation, P!nk is talking to my ex-partner.
You might be shocked by my story. My intention is to share my version of this song and make people conscious of what honesty should mean when being in a relationship. I'm disgusted with what I've done to my ex-partner, what I've hidden for many years, I don't have enough words to express how sorry I feel for him. I just hope he will find the strength to "get up and try" to move on.
Here's my story. You’ll understand at the end what the meaning of that song is in my story, in my ex story.
I'm a Frenchman, I've had a relationship for 8 years with a Scottish man who I always thought and still think is the love of my life. We met in the UK when I was a foreign student in Birmingham. It was 2004, I was 20, he was 33.
As soon as we met we both felt such a strong love for each other, I had never felt this kind of feeling before.
I had to go back to France in 2005 but we kept living and strengthening our relationship despite the distance. I visited him or he visited me every 2 weeks, for 7 years. We had amazing times together, we shared so much. He became a member of my family, he came to family holidays (ski, summer holidays in south of France...), to my brother's and sister's weddings, birthdays, christenings and many more family events. He was loved by my entire family, even by my grandmother who is a very strict catholic woman not very open to gay people. He was accepted and welcome because he's a wonderful man, kind, generous, gentleman, funny, easy-going, and always at ease in any kind of situation (I could leave him on his own with French people that he didn't know, he would always find an easy natural way to connect with them, even if he doesn't speak the language). I also got completely accepted by his family and friends, I always felt so much welcome by all his friendly cousins in Edinburgh!
I was so happy to have found the love of my life, and he was so happy too. Last January 2012, I moved to London so that we could finally live together. How perfect it was then to have dinner together every night, to feel he was here for me, to feel I was here for him, to have a life and future together.
But for 8 years, even if most of our relationship was real and my feelings were truly sincere, there was a big lie. And my ex found out the truth last June 2012: the truth is I had been seeing many other men for sex (and friendships) when I was in France. He discovered one email. And then he discovered there had been plenty more guys, for 8 years.
So the start of the song is clear to me, P!nk is talking about me to my ex:"Ever wonder about what he's doing.How it all turned to lies".
I've never been honest to him, couldn't find a way to tell him, because I'm a selfish little bastard who was just afraid of losing him. I could not admit I was not sexually attracted to my partner and I could not find the courage to tell him. Instead of admitting the truth, I had been lying to him, cheating, living a double life, without really feeling guilty at the time, I totally separated sex from feelings in my head. I became a sex addict, having different experiences. I'm trying to understand all this with my therapist.
My story is getting worse. Beginning of August 2012, my ex left the flat for a few days so that we could both step back and think. I decided I needed to erase the past, to have a new start and rebuild anything that was possible, if it was still time. To do that, I thought I had to make a health screening. You know, it was one of the things I had to do, to tick that box. When I cheated my ex, I had safe sex so I was not worried.
Saturday 4 August 2012. 11am. I go to a clinic in central london. I arrive. Get a coffee. Welcoming staff. I'm in the waiting room, watching the Olympics on a TV. The doctor invites me to go upstairs, we talk about what I have done. He asks me whether I feel I had been at risk. I said no, and then I thought about it and realised I may have been, just by the fact that I had had so many different partners, in Paris, in Lille, and sometimes I had poppers or a few drinks. The doctor made an instant HIV test (he just takes a drop of blood on the finger and can see the results in 2 min). I will always remember his exact words "I'm afraid I have bad news". I was HIV positive. Life stopped. I couldn't talk, couldn't breathe. couldn't think. I was so horrified by the idea I might have infected the love of my life too. Having no family or close friends in London to call first, I decided to immediately call my ex because he had to make a test as soon as possible. I remember being in the street in front of the clinic, in tears, not being able to calm down and talk, calling him and announcing the news over the phone, in panick. Luckily he was not on his own, he having coffee with friends.
He immediately took a cab and he was there 10 min later. When I saw him I was in panick, I couldn't face his eyes, I wanted to die and wanted to be with him at the same time. I felt shit and terrified that he could be infected. But this wonderful man, who could have yelled at me, who could have been insulting me, took me in his arms instead. We were still in the street, I was crying, screaming, I had never been in such a state.
We got back inside the clinic, my ex made an instant test which was negative. But he had to do another one a few weeks later to be sure (we had had unprotected sex a few weeks before). Luckily at the end he’s really negative. I would have NEVER forgiven myself if it had turned out differently. These weeks waiting for the next results were hell. I couldn’t accept myself.
Despite all that, my ex came with me to the hospital as I needed to do a lot of tests to find out how my health was. We found out my immune system was very low, at risk. And I was very contagious. I had to start an antiretroviral treatment immediately, no question to wait more. My ex cried when we got out of the hospital, because he was still so much in love. He was angry at me but he also felt guilty that he didn’t see anything I was doing. Do you imagine? He felt guilty when actually he didn’t deserve any of this, I should be the one guilty for having been a stupid selfish disrespectful boy. He loved me so much that he felt guilty for not having been able to protect me, save me.
Autumn 2012 has been hell. Because we couldn’t give up our relationship but at the same time we were hurting each other. Me hurting him just by being there, being a reminder of all the lies, and him hurting me because he was making me feel more guilty than I already was, I was stopping to live, everything that I was doing or thinking was in the guiltiness of what I had done.
So we both decided to break up in October. We moved to a different flat 2 weeks ago (end of November 2012).
I’m sad, lost, don’t know where I’m going and I struggle to find a sense to my life. I terribly miss my ex but I know we could not carry on. I know my ex has now lost all confidence and hope in life. He’s in such pain that he struggles to see any interest in anything. It hurts to know he is in that state but I can’t really help him, my presence would hurt him more. He still loves me. He wants me back (not the guy I’ve been for 8 years butthe one he met 8 years ago before I did what I did). He needs friends and family, not the guy who destroyed his life and has put his health at risk.
I needed to give you all this context to make you understand what this song means to me. P!nk is telling my ex: You “wonder what he’s doing, how it all turned to lies, but sometimes you shouldn’t ask why”, there might not be a rational answer to all this. You had and “have desire” for that Frenchman . He is a “flame that burned you”, emotionally and physically: He caused you pain and have put your health at risk. “But you’re not going to die, you have to get up”, you have to fight, you need to find your way. P!nk leaves room for interpretation when saying “gonna get up and try”. Try what?? In my ex’ situation, I believe it’s try to move on, try to forgive, try to live all the good things that there are to live, try to see the positive things in life. She also reminds him “how the heart can be deceiving, more than just a couple times” he needs to move on instead of keep being in love “even when it’s not right”. So you have to get up.
Sometimes when I listen to the song I also feel she’s talking to me. Because I’m not gonna die even if I’ve got an incurable (but manageable) disease. I need to get up and try. Yes everything is ruined. I’m trying to get by.
To all people who are having affairs without telling their partner: I hope my story will make you think and realise how much you can destroy the person who loves you. I was everything to him, he’s now lost everything and even the willing to get up, the confidence, the energy to live a new life. I’ve learned honesty is a pillar in any relationship. I lied to myself and my partner for many years, I now have to live with all the consequences.
To the love of my live: if you hear me, please get up and try.
anonymous Oct 30th, 2012 10:45pm report
This song actually describes my current situation perfectly. This boy who I've fallen for just got a girlfriend, not long after stuff had happened between us. The first verse is like me thinking about him wondering why things changed so quickly, wanting to learn to the truth. But then i remember we're still close friends, which I'd rather be than nothing at all, and I won't ask so that our friendship won't be put at risk.
Then the chorus. We both had feelings for each other, and the flame appeared. But it never was going to be a good thing no matter how we spun it, and someone was bound to get hurt. In the end that person was me, but even though it hurts its not the end of the world. I got to get past this, keep going and not let this affect me.
The second verse. During the month when things happened, I was completely blinded and deceived that I wouldn't get hurt this time. I've liked him on and off, we've always been great friends, sometimes more. Yet I never learn from my mistakes, fall hard fast when it clearly isn't going to work out well.
Chorus see above.
Bridge. Often I get afraid that I've ruined whatever me and this boy are with letting my feelings get the best of me and don't know what else to do but cry. And at this point I have no idea what I'm doing and just surviving day by day not enjoying life and pitying myself for the mess. But then the chorus comes and reminds that I can't give up, theres more to my mess, and I'll be alright.
anonymous Sep 14th, 2019 9:49am report
I feel like the man is having an affair with another woman and she is fighting for her relationship/marriage. Although the video portrays domestic abuse. Either way...the relationship is failing and she is fighting for it. Thats just the way I take it
anonymous Aug 14th, 2019 8:57pm report
"Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame, someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns, doesn't mean you're gonna die
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try"
This song represents my situation, my eager my dreams and boundaries that no one thought that I could go across them.
For me this song was a great motivation, when no one's telling me to go on, this song always told me to "try"
anonymous Aug 1st, 2019 8:16am report
Try,” a song by the pop-rock artist Pink, is an extremely powerful and somewhat emotionally infectious ballad that tells the penetrating story of a vicious relationship. Pink is known for her unique style and slightly daring approach to musical lyricism. Pink poses a series of questions for her listeners, but what appears the most prominent to me is the reoccurring reference to flames and fire. After additional analysis, it appears to me that Pink is using the theme of fire to illustrate the intensity and severity of an initiate relationship. The music video for “Try” adds an additional level of drama, featuring incredible artistic and passionate choreography, which further illustrates the complexities of love.
anonymous May 25th, 2019 5:56pm report
I think for that song is to have collaborators wrote the lyric that had more power to record this song but I’m spending more time with people.
anonymous Dec 13th, 2016 12:20pm report
My understanding is rather basic!
Where wonderful things are happening someone is always bound to get hurt.
anonymous Jul 11th, 2016 7:28pm report
When I first heard this, I felt that (mostly based on the chorus—that's what sticks on a first listen) this was about rape.
"Where there is desire
(like he wanted me)
there is gonna be a flame
(wanting so hot it drove him to it)
Where there is a flame
someone(me)s bound to get burned
(burned-hurt-thrown to the ground, clothes torn, raped, and then cut to bits on the inside because he wanted to be the last one to have me)
But just because it burns
(and it did, it hurt like hell)
doesn't mean you're gonna die
(I thought I would—that much blood, I thought I was gone for sure but I lived)
You gotta get up and try try try
(and I healed and I have a good man who loves me properly now, scars and all)
I love that we all think of something different when we hear it. It's personal to us in a way songs that tell a very specific story can't be.
anonymous Aug 1st, 2014 8:15am report
The chorus has a special meaning for me though it is not a love thingy.. he he he
"Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try"
Every shits people who keep dragging me down all I can say is you wont defeat a man who's protecting his dream. A man who's doing what he loves. A man who's working hard and determined. WE WILL GET UP and WILL TRY it again.
love be with you guys!!
anonymous Jan 26th, 2014 1:57am report
Your story is so heartbreaking. But so inspiring and loving. I hope you both try. Wish I could hug you.
anonymous Aug 11th, 2013 8:54am report
It's about a close relationship.
anonymous Jun 2nd, 2013 6:08pm report
I am also on the band wagon that this song is about domestic abuse (not violence particularly).
I'm thinking that an over-dominerring partner is abusive and claims that the things he/she does is out of love for the singer. ("Ever wonder about what he's doing")
In reality, the singer knows that this sort of behavior from a lover is wrong. ("How it all turned to lies")
In the chorus, the singer acknowledges that people are bound to hurt each other in a relationship, but just because you hurt each other doesn't mean that you don't love each other. Instead, you continue to "try" to live through the relationship, no matter how rough it gets.
While the singer loves the abusive partner, he/she (yes, I know pink is a girl) sometimes doubts her choice in partner because of her current situation.
The second time the chorus comes around, the singer reminisces on how he/she saw the signals of an abusive relationship, even toward the start, yet she still stayed, with the knowledge that they would still hurt each other. Things probably escalated, in terms of love and abuse.
In the third verse (which may be the bridge...) the singer acknowledges that today's society frowns upon abusive relationships (understandably), and makes her second guess the relationship, which the singer can't get out of because of his/her devotion.
And the final chorus's definition is like that of the first chorus.
my ex girl send me this song and i really don't know why , we broke up 9 months ago . and i didn't see her for 9 or 10 months we were just talking to each other from time to time , and when i tell her that i may visit her she send me this song what should i do guys ? i need a response to this song
anonymous Mar 22nd, 2013 3:36am report
I think the couple might be going through a rough patch. The man was cheating but the woman never wanted to ask, she new but also at the same time she wished she was wrong. They still love each other and they saying if the love is still there, why give up. Everyone makes mistakes and she would rather be scared with him than happy and without him.
anonymous Feb 24th, 2013 2:46am report
This describes exactly how I feel. I have been in a relationship for over a year and I thought it was everything I ever wanted. It was long distance at first, so I tried so hard to make it work. We moved in together and everything was great, until I found an email of him flirting with another girl. When I asked him about it, he lied and said I took what he said out of context. Ever since then I have found conversations with other girls, all of them saying he was in a relationship, but he would tell little white lies to them for no reason whatsoever. I love him and I don't want to give up, but I'm also afraid to hear his reasoning behind why he's lying to random girls. This song makes perfect sense to me and my current situation.
anonymous Feb 10th, 2013 2:00am report
If you watch the video it is very interesting but after I watched it a couple of times and read the lyrics I came up with the conclusion the song has to do with domestic violence!?
anonymous Feb 2nd, 2013 2:27pm report
Where there is desire there is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame someone’s bound to get burned, but just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die you gotta get up and try try try...
My view on this particular part of the song means that just because your relationship is rocky don't give up of you both are still in love you have to "try try try" to fix it and make an attempt to stay together.
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