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Songs with Sexual Euphemisms

What's the name of your tiddy-wink? What do you call your tally-whacker? And what do you call it when your fiddle-dee-dee diddles someone's daisy? For some reason, we need volumes of silly words to mean the act of Doing It, and all the biological equipment pertaining thereto. Can't we just call everything what it is and be done with it? No, because, see, there's people who get offended when you talk about it, as if they didn't have a tally-whacker of their own. Then we have to make up new secret names for everything, but then the code words get out and the offended people get offended at that, too.

So we end up with oodles and oodles of silly words that mean one word, and we keep making up new ones all the time. How's that for irony? These songs pay some kind of tribute to this phenomenon, whether by making sly references to one thing while pretending to talk about something else, or by just snowing you with their vocabulary while leaving no doubt what they're talking about. Which is making meadow mulch.

  • Afternoon Delight
    Afternoon Delight
    Starland Vocal Band

    "Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
    looking forward to a little afternoon delight.
    Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite
    and the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting."

  • Birthday
    Birthday
    Katy Perry
  • Candy Shop
    Candy Shop
    50 Cent

    "I take you to the candy shop
    I'll let you lick the lollypop
    Go 'head girl, don't you stop
    Keep goin 'til you hit the spot (whoa)"

  • Cherry Pie
    Cherry Pie
    Warrant

    "Swingin' in the bathroom, swingin' on the floor
    Swingin' so hard, forgot to lock the door
    In walk her daddy, standin' six foot four
    Said: You ain't gonna swing with my daughter no more
    She's my cherry pie"

  • Firework
    Firework
    Katy Perry

    "Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed
    So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
    Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
    And when it's time, you'll know
    You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine
    Just own the night like the 4th of July"

  • Genie in a Bottle
    Genie in a Bottle
    Christina Aguilera
  • Good Kisser
    Good Kisser
    Usher

    "I done been around the world, I done kissed a lot of girls
    So I'm guessin' that it's true
    Make me holla and I bet a million dollars
    Don't nobody kiss it like you"

  • Grillz
    Grillz
    Nelly

    "On da top in da bottom
    Gotta bill in my mouth like im Hillary Rodham"

  • Ignition
    Ignition
    R Kelly
  • Like a Prayer
    Like a Prayer
    Madonna

    "When you call my name it’s like a little prayer
    I’m down on my knees, I wanna take you there
    In the midnight hour I can feel your power
    Just like a prayer you know I’ll take you there"

  • Little Red Corvette
    Little Red Corvette
    Prince

    "I guess I shoulda closed my eyes
    When you drove me to the place
    where your horses run free
    'Cuz I felt a little ill
    When I saw all the pictures
    Of the jockeys that were there before me"

  • London Bridge
    London Bridge
    Fergie

    "How come everytime you come around,
    My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,
    London, London, London, wanna go down like,
    London, London, London, we goin’ down like"

  • Milkshake
    Milkshake
    Kelis

    "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
    And they're like
    It's better than yours,"

  • Mud on the Tires
    Mud on the Tires
    Brad Paisley

    "There's a place I know about where the dirt road runs out
    And we can try out the four-wheel drive
    Come on now what do you say
    Girl, I can hardly wait to get a little mud on the tires"

  • Peaches
    Peaches
    Presidents of the United States of America

    "Squished a rotten peach in my fist
    And dreamed about you, woman,
    I poked my finger down inside
    Make a little room for an ant to hide
    Nature's candy in my hand or can or a pie"

  • Pearl necklace
    Pearl necklace
    ZZ Top

    "She was gettin' bombed,
    And I was gettin' blown away,
    And she held it in her hand
    And this is what she had to say:
    A pearl necklace.
    She wanna pearl necklace.
    She wanna pearl necklace."

  • Raspberry Swirl
    Raspberry Swirl
    Tori Amos

    "If you want inside her
    Well,
    Boy you better make her raspberry swirl"

  • Ring My Bell
    Ring My Bell
    Anita Ward

    "Well lay back and relax while I put away the dishes
    (Put away the dishes)
    Then you and me can rock a bell
    You can ring my be-e-ell, ring my bell"

  • Roc the Boat
    Roc the Boat
    Aaliyah
  • Say It Right
    Say It Right
    Nelly Furtado
  • She Cranks My Tractor
    She Cranks My Tractor
    Dustin Lynch

    "I go fast, she hollers faster,
    She's the first one up the hayloft ladder
    A girl like that's what a country boy's after
    She cranks, she cranks, she cranks my tractor
    She cranks, she cranks, she cranks my tractor"

  • Sledgehammer
    Sledgehammer
    Peter Gabriel

    "You could have a big dipper
    Going up and down, all around the bends
    You could have a bumper car, bumping
    This amusement never ends
    I want to be your sledgehammer
    why don't you call my name"

  • Summer of '69
    Summer of '69
    Bryan Adams

    "Oh and when you held my hand
    I knew that it was now or never
    Those were the best days of my life
    Back in Summer of '69
    Man we were killin' time
    We were young and restless
    We needed to unwind"

  • The Bad Touch
    The Bad Touch
    Bloodhound Gang

    "Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought
    Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
    So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
    Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up"

  • Things I'll Never Say
    Things I'll Never Say
    Avril Lavigne
  • Timber
    Timber
    Pitbull

    "The bigger they are, the harder they fall
    This biggity boy's a diggity dog
    I have 'em like Miley Cyrus, clothes off
    Twerking in their bras and thongs, timber
    Face down, booty up, timber"

  • Turning Japanese
    Turning Japanese
    Vapors, The

    "I've got your picture, I've got your picture
    I'd like a million of you all round my cell
    I want a doctor to take your picture
    So I can look at you from inside as well
    You've got me turning up and turning down
    And turning in and turning 'round
    I'm turning Japanese
    I think I'm turning Japanese
    I really think so"

  • Tutti-Frutti
    Tutti-Frutti
    Little Richard

    "Got a gal named Sue, she knows just what to do
    She rock to the east, she rocks to the west
    But she's the gal that I know best"

  • Two Become One
    Two Become One
    Spice Girls, The

    "Free your mind of doubt and danger
    Be for real don't be a stranger
    We can achieve it, we can achieve it
    Come a little bit closer baby, get it on, get it on
    'Cause tonight is the night when two become one"

  • Whistle
    Whistle
    Flo Rida

    "Go girl you can work it
    Let me see your whistle while you work it
    I'mma lay it back, don't stop it
    Cause I love it how you drop it, drop it, drop it, on me
    Now, shorty let that whistle blow"


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