Songs with Sexual Euphemisms
What's the name of your tiddy-wink? What do you call your tally-whacker? And what do you call it when your fiddle-dee-dee diddles someone's daisy? For some reason, we need volumes of silly words to mean the act of Doing It, and all the biological equipment pertaining thereto. Can't we just call everything what it is and be done with it? No, because, see, there's people who get offended when you talk about it, as if they didn't have a tally-whacker of their own. Then we have to make up new secret names for everything, but then the code words get out and the offended people get offended at that, too.
So we end up with oodles and oodles of silly words that mean one word, and we keep making up new ones all the time. How's that for irony? These songs pay some kind of tribute to this phenomenon, whether by making sly references to one thing while pretending to talk about something else, or by just snowing you with their vocabulary while leaving no doubt what they're talking about. Which is making meadow mulch.
Starland Vocal Band
"Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
looking forward to a little afternoon delight.
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ignite
and the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting."
"I take you to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollypop
Go 'head girl, don't you stop
Keep goin 'til you hit the spot (whoa)"
"Swingin' in the bathroom, swingin' on the floor
Swingin' so hard, forgot to lock the door
In walk her daddy, standin' six foot four
Said: You ain't gonna swing with my daughter no more
She's my cherry pie"
"Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it's time, you'll know
You just gotta ignite, the light, and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July"
"I done been around the world, I done kissed a lot of girls
So I'm guessin' that it's true
Make me holla and I bet a million dollars
Don't nobody kiss it like you"
"On da top in da bottom
Gotta bill in my mouth like im Hillary Rodham"
"When you call my name it’s like a little prayer
I’m down on my knees, I wanna take you there
In the midnight hour I can feel your power
Just like a prayer you know I’ll take you there"
"I guess I shoulda closed my eyes
When you drove me to the place
where your horses run free
'Cuz I felt a little ill
When I saw all the pictures
Of the jockeys that were there before me"
"How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, wanna go down like,
London, London, London, we goin’ down like"
"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,"
"There's a place I know about where the dirt road runs out
And we can try out the four-wheel drive
Come on now what do you say
Girl, I can hardly wait to get a little mud on the tires"
Presidents of the United States of America
"Squished a rotten peach in my fist
And dreamed about you, woman,
I poked my finger down inside
Make a little room for an ant to hide
Nature's candy in my hand or can or a pie"
"She was gettin' bombed,
And I was gettin' blown away,
And she held it in her hand
And this is what she had to say:
A pearl necklace.
She wanna pearl necklace.
She wanna pearl necklace."
"If you want inside her
Boy you better make her raspberry swirl"
"Well lay back and relax while I put away the dishes
(Put away the dishes)
Then you and me can rock a bell
You can ring my be-e-ell, ring my bell"
"I go fast, she hollers faster,
She's the first one up the hayloft ladder
A girl like that's what a country boy's after
She cranks, she cranks, she cranks my tractor
She cranks, she cranks, she cranks my tractor"
"You could have a big dipper
Going up and down, all around the bends
You could have a bumper car, bumping
This amusement never ends
I want to be your sledgehammer
why don't you call my name"
"Oh and when you held my hand
I knew that it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life
Back in Summer of '69
Man we were killin' time
We were young and restless
We needed to unwind"
"Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up"
"The bigger they are, the harder they fall
This biggity boy's a diggity dog
I have 'em like Miley Cyrus, clothes off
Twerking in their bras and thongs, timber
Face down, booty up, timber"
"I've got your picture, I've got your picture
I'd like a million of you all round my cell
I want a doctor to take your picture
So I can look at you from inside as well
You've got me turning up and turning down
And turning in and turning 'round
I'm turning Japanese
I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so"
"Got a gal named Sue, she knows just what to do
She rock to the east, she rocks to the west
But she's the gal that I know best"
Spice Girls, The
"Free your mind of doubt and danger
Be for real don't be a stranger
We can achieve it, we can achieve it
Come a little bit closer baby, get it on, get it on
'Cause tonight is the night when two become one"
"Go girl you can work it
Let me see your whistle while you work it
I'mma lay it back, don't stop it
Cause I love it how you drop it, drop it, drop it, on me
Now, shorty let that whistle blow"
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