Evanescence: Haunted Meaning
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Still can't find what keeps me here
When all this time I've been so hollow inside
I know you're still there
Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you, loving you
I won't let you...
Its written around a story that Ben wrote, here it is:
A little girl around 8 or 9 in a little white Easter dress is walking down a neighborhood street bouncing a little red ball. as she approaches an obviously deserted large house with a sinister demeanor, her attention moves from the ball to the house. Not paying attention to her bouncing, the ball hits the curb and ricochets toward the house. As she chases the little red ball toward the house, the ball picks up unnatural momentum and bounces right into the huge gaping front door. The little girl pauses for a moment, looks up at the house which now appears to be staring down at her, and cautiously enters the house in search of her little red ball. as she slowly walks into the atrium, she surveys the decaying mess that once was obviously a beautiful mansion. She becomes mesmerized by the exquisite detail of every inch of the banister winding up the seemingly endless staircase in front of her. Suddenly her thoughts are broken by a horrifying commotion. She whips around to run out the front door, but finds only a blank wall where the door once stood. Frightened, she runs down the first hallway she sees, trying desperately to find a way out, but with every turn the world behind her changes, bending to the will of the house, so that even finding a path back to the atrium where she began becomes impossible. Terrified, the little girl sinks into a corner, puts her head in her hands, and weeps.
10 years later....
the little girl wakes up in a panic, now a young woman.. dirty, scarred. She's now clothed in black pants, work boots, and a black wife beater. Her skin is pale and dirty. Sun has not graced her flesh in over a decade. She wakes to find a meal placed on a dirty silver tray before her, just enough to sustain life, just like every morning before. Placed there by a figure she can only see in passing, around a corner, walking through a door.... a figure that has become her only friend, and her only hate. Her entire existence has become nothing but to hunt and destroy this shadow that keeps her here. As she hunts him relentlessly day after day, she becomes lost in the dichotomy of her being. This thing that keeps her here, this person that repeatedly rapes her mind and watches her when she sleeps, has become her only friend. For if this person left, she would cease to exist. For she lives only to kill him. But lives only FOR him. Every day the house changes around her, so that every day she wakes in a foreign land. The only constant... Is him. She hears his heart beating, she smells him, she can only think of finding him, but he is also the only thing she knows of love.
anonymous Jan 14th, 2007 1:59am report
I think this song is about an old co-worker Amy once used to work with, until he started making sexual advances towards her, but I'm not sure.
Anyway, I think this is about a girl who is being lusted over by a man she thought she knew. He makes many sexual advances towards her and the man's constant watch over the girl begins to depress and worry her. She feels constantly harassed by the man (I think the line "raping me" isn't literal), The girl doesn't know why she is staying so close to somebody who is bringing her down as a person. In the end she decides to let him no longer be a burden on her and she turns the man away. Never to see him again. "I won't let you hold me down"
anonymous Sep 2nd, 2017 9:15pm report
When I listen to this song I just can see small village.
It's empty just old grey houses and a fog.it's magical then I imagine a girl when she said "I know you're still there " she's waking up and started to search for people there. She's paranoid because she is all alone and she started imagine things like somebody is looking at her that "watching me wanting me" and then she is crying. Near the bottom of the fog she can see a figure of dead beloved one she blame herself about that so it started to haunt her and that is for " haunting you I can smell you alive "she still thinks that this person is alive because she can't see the truth
anonymous Jun 17th, 2014 6:26am report
its about her and the demons that want to take over her body. she hates the demons and yet she loves the idea that those demons would take over her body and she goes crazy.
anonymous Jun 10th, 2014 6:36pm report
I always interpreted the song as being about an abusive relationship. In abusive relationships, the abused person usually struggles with this type of internal conflict. They stay because they love the abuser or are somehow reliant on the abuser, but they usually understand that the relationship is destroying them.
anonymous Jun 13th, 2013 6:01pm report
Am I crazy or does anyone else think thus might have been inspired by Lord of the Rings? I mean it all fits-- 'fearing you loving you', the Ring taking hold of people and destroying them, they knew it would kill them but they couldn't give it up, 'I can smell you alive', the Riders hunting Frodo and his friends, 'I won't let you pull me down', the Fellowship standing up to Sauron and the Ring. I dunno mebbe just me.
anonymous May 27th, 2013 5:18pm report
I agree this song carries with it an evil impulse that could very well denote the wicked influences we see in this world, for just as it says in the ancient writings that comprise the authentic Bible Canon:
"I began to behold Satan already fallen like lightening from heaven..." (Luke 10:18)
"...the whole world is lying in the power of the wicked one...But we know that the Son of God has...given us intellectual capacity that we may gain the knowledge of the true one...Little children, guard yourselves from idols..." (1 John 5:19-21)
Jesus Answered, "My kingdom is no part of this world. If my kingdom were part of this world, my attendants would have fought that I should not be delivered up to the Jews. But as it is, my kingdom is not from this source." Therefore Pilate said to him, "Well, then, are you a king?" Jesus answered, "...for this I have come into the world, that I should bear witness to the truth. Everyone that is on the side of the truth listens to my voice." (John 18:36,37)
"Next, the end, when he hands over the kingdom to his God and Father, when he has brought to nothing all government and all authority and power. For he must rule as king until [God] has put all enemies under his feet." (1 Cor 15:24,25)
"...for Satan himself keeps transforming himself into an angel of light. It is therefore nothing great if his ministers also keep transforming themselves into ministers of righteousness. But their end shall be according to their works." (2 Cor 11:14,15)
"Keep your senses, be watchful. Your adversary, the Devil, walks about like a roaring lion, seeking to devour someone." (1 Peter 5:8)
And war broke out in heaven, "Michael (Jesus) and his angels battled with the dragon, and the dragon and its angels battled but it did not prevail, neither was a place found for them any longer in heaven. So down the great dragon was hurled, the original serpent, the one called Devil and Satan, who is misleading the entire inhabited earth; he was hurled down to the earth, and his angels were hurled down with him. (Revelation 12:7-9)
"...Woe for the earth and for the sea, because the Devil has come down to you, having great anger, knowing he has a short period of time." (Revelation 12:12)
"...the mystery of this lawlessness is already at work; but only till he who is right now acting as a restraint gets to be out of the way. Then, indeed, the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will do away with by the spirit of his mouth and bring to nothing by the manifestation of his presence. But the lawless one's presence is according to the operation of Satan with every powerful work and lying signs and portents and with every unrighteous deception for those who are perishing, as a retribution because they did not accept the love of the truth that they might be saved. So that is why God lets an operation of error go to them, that they may get to believing the lie, in order that they all may be judged because they did not believe the truth but took pleasure in unrighteousness." (1 Thess 2:7-12)
"...God did not hold back from punishing the angels that sinned, but...delivered them to pits of dense darkness to be reserved for judgment...and he did not hold back from punishing an ancient world, but kept Noah...safe with seven others when he brought a deluge upon a world of ungodly people...setting a pattern for ungodly persons of things to come...to reserve unrighteous people for the day of judgement to be cut off, especially, however those who go on after flesh with the desire to defile [it]...Daring, self-willed, they do not tremble at glorious ones but speak abusively...But these [men], like unreasoning animals...will, in the things of which they are ignorant and speak abusively, even suffer destruction in their own [course of] destruction, wronging themselves as a reward for wrongdoing...They are spots and blemishes, indulging with unrestrained delight in their deceptive teachings while feasting together with you. They have eyes full of adultery and [are] unable to desist from sin, and they entice unsteady souls. They have a heart trained in covetousness...Abandoning the straight path, they have been misled. They have followed the path of Balaam [the son] of Beor, who loved the reward of wrongdoing...A voiceless beast of burden, making utterance with the voice of a man...These are fountains without water, and mists driven by a violent storm, and for them the blackness of darkness has been reserved...For they utter swelling expressions of no profit, and by the desires of the flesh and by loose habits they entice those who are just escaping from people who conduct themselves in error. While they are promising them freedom, they themselves are existing as slaves of corruption." (2 Peter 2:4-19)
"Too bad for them, because they have gone in the path of Cain, and have rushed into the erroneous course of Balaam for reward...These are the rocks hidden below water in your love feasts while they feast with you, shepherds that feed themselves without fear; water-less clouds carried this way and that by winds; trees in late autumn, [but] fruitless, having died twice, having been uprooted; wild waves of the sea that foam up their own causes for shame; stars with no set course, for which the blackness of darkness stands reserved forever." (Jude 11-13)
"These men are murmurers, complainers about their lot in life, proceeding according to their own desires, and their mouths speak swelling things, while they are admiring personalities for the sake of [their own] benefit...These are the ones that make separations, animalistic [men], not having spirituality." (Jude 16-19)
"Young children, it is the last hour, and, just as you heard that antichrist is coming, even now there have come to be many antichrist; from which fact we gain the knowledge that it is the last hour." (1 John 2:18)
"These things I write you about those who are trying to mislead you." (1 John 2:26)
"Little children, let no one mislead you; he who carries on righteousness is righteous...He who carries on sin originates with the Devil, because the Devil has been sinning from [the] beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was made manifest, namely, to break up the works of the Devil." (1 John 3:7,8)
"Be on the watch for the false prophets that come to you in sheep's covering, but inside they are ravenous wolves. By their fruits (actions) you will recognize them..." (Matt 7:15,16)
"...many false prophets will arise and mislead many..." (Matt 24:11)
"...if anyone says to you, 'Look! Here is the Christ,' or, 'There!' do not believe it. For false Christs and false prophets will arise and will give great signs and wonders so as to mislead, if possible, even the chosen ones...For just as the lightening comes out of eastern parts and shines over to western parts, so the presence of the Son of man will be. Wherever the carcass is, there the eagles will be gathered together." (Matt 24:23-28)
When one rightfully considers all the evidence in Scripture and the history of our world, it soon becomes very clear that not only do these evil elements exist but they have also been deceiving the world for a long time for the sake their own selfish and malevolent passions...
When one truly examines the history of secret societies and their mantra, it soon becomes abundantly clear they not only do they control the system in which we live but that they are also subject to the Devil himself...
That is the real reason we see so much violence and deception in this world, so much pain and suffering...
It is because society is being duped to follow Satan's lead rather than Jehovah the true God and Creator of the universe.
Their allegiance to the wicked one will ultimately be there undoing in the day of Judgment... (Ezekiel 38:1-23; 39:1-29)
anonymous Jan 2nd, 2013 1:30am report
The songs about demons/ yes there also called ghosts if you like they pull people down and hold you there, this mainly happens at night, if you listen to the lyrics it's clearly about demons anyone who's heard there name being called, been paralysed to a sofa or bed etc or held down by a invisible force has also been visited by demons. There's no such thing as ghosts btw ghosts are demons.
anonymous Aug 11th, 2012 8:03pm report
I think this song is just about a bad memory and has stayed in someones mind for a long time, and is constantly paranoid by the thought someone is "watching" & "wanting" them. I think this because when she says " Long Lost words whisper slowly to me, still can't find what keeps me here" when someone whispers to you, no on else can hear it. so it's in her mind "a memory" so something that has happend a while ago still lives on her memory. and maybe it's someone who has done a terrible thing to her like for example, the line "raping me" could of been that living in her memory. The lines watching and wanting me, is probably not someone actually wanting her or watching her, it could just mean that that one memory is "wanting" her to think about it or talk to someone about it, and "watching me" could mean it wont go away from her mind.... "watching" do u get it? i know it kind of wierd what i'm saying and i'm not sure if it's actually right but there's my interpretation to this song :) thank you !
anonymous Jul 24th, 2012 7:05pm report
i think its about a girl who has dremt about someone and she thinks he actually exists the line rapeing me means tht he is like messing with her mind and thoughts
anonymous Jan 26th, 2012 1:30pm report
I find it quite interesting that nobody has thought about the possibility of whoever the song is about being a subject to the mental disorder known as "schizophrenia". Think about this:
Words whispered to this person, lost, possibly inside her (assuming it to be a female) own mind, that tell her things nobody else would understand.
-"Long lost words whisper slowly to me".
The part about being hollow, often people suffering from schizophrenia hear voices or see things that are simply not there, and because of this their emotions go into a kind of overload, rendering them unable to control themselves. If a person is incapable of controlling what they feel, what they see or hear, everything becomes a lie, and eventually, they might of feel quite hollow. This could also explain the "keeps me here" part. If you have nothing that is reality, what's the point of staying in what you used to think was reality. It would be much easier to just let it all go and submit to the voices in their head.
-"Still can't find what keeps me here. When all this time I've been so hollow inside".
Even if the voices leave, they will come back. No matter what this person does, they will always be there, waiting to take over again.
-"I know you're still there".
Schizophrenics usually have a name for their inner voices, and they may at times see them incarnated in a hallucination that, for them, is completely real. They might see these constantly, or even permanently. They feel that these creatures, or ocassionally people, are often or always watching them, and, if conscious enough, see them as an obstacle to continue their lives.
-"Watching me. Wanting me. I can feel you pull me down".
Subjects to this disorder are prompt to fear the images or voices only they can percieve, but, considering they live in a world of their own, these could also be the only thing they know apart from themselves, and are unconsciously forced to love them. Many institutionalized patients try to fight this problem by applying medicines, often pills, so as to temporarily shut the voices up, meaning they won't let these creatures inhabiting their brain take control.
-"Fearing you. Loving you. I won't let you pull me down".
If one tries to fight this pathology, it could be said that they are hunting the root of it all, something they might even perceive as a living being. This being, while not neccessarily completely in control, is a large part of them, and might at times be seen as they themselves.
-"Hunting you. I can smell you - Alive. Your heart pounding in my head".
These voices, images, etc. are the enemy. However, they are also salvation. The person might not know anything other than these, and without them would be completely and utterly lost. Their minds are under constant change, they are never constant, the only thing they know is what these voices say, what they are forced to do in order to please them. This is a kind of rape. If one does not do what they want, they're extremely violent, in a way of speaking, and eventually will force it on you, and wether you try to stop it or not is irrelevant.
-"Saving me. Raping me".
While this is my analysis, I do believe the song could be based on the aforementioned story, which I found to be quite an interesting piece of literature, if only slightly disturbing. It's only my opinion, and everyone is free to have their own.
anonymous Dec 7th, 2011 12:27pm report
I say this song Haunted is about like a type of spirit haunting Amy Lee the way it says in the 1st line "Long lost words whisper slowly to me" a spirit is probly trying to make her fall also inculding the line "I won't let you pull me down."
The spirit has maybe acted like it was away
from her but Amy doesn't think so which includes "I know you're still there
Watching me, wanting me."
It is like whatever is with her wants her.
"Saving me, raping me, watching me."
I think thats what it means.
anonymous Jun 16th, 2011 6:40pm report
I believe that it is about the devil, and trying to get away but yet you can't becasuse you love him. Trying not to be tempted by him, yet we can't.
Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Basically, the devil trying to pull her into hell. Thats my thoughts on the whole thing, yeah... :)
anonymous Jun 9th, 2011 6:59pm report
I think this song is about how she is so depressed in this song,that she can feel the depression pull her down while it rapes her mind. And even though she wants to leave the depression behind,she either doest know how,or doesnt want to because she likes the feel of it. Ive read the other interpretations,and I can see all of them,but this is what I think.
anonymous May 30th, 2011 5:42pm report
im sorry but... didn't her sister die and she's writing songs to cope with it?? i thought i read that somewhere.... because it would make sense that its about her deceased sister. since everyone comes to the conclusion of "rape", here goes the conclusion of THAT.
the lyrics say: "Saving me, raping me"
Well, she just means raping her mind kind of. not physical rape, its more like haunting her mind and causing her to go crazy. that kind of "rape".
anonymous May 9th, 2010 5:21pm report
I think this song is about Amy being haunted by the demon Incubus, who rapes women in their sleep. She hates the fear of him, but she loves the thrill of him. "Fearing you, Loving you". Women report feeling like they are being pushed down onto their bed, or pulled off their beds when being haunted by Incubus. "I can feel you pull me down" Also demons can have a strong sulfuric smell, which might be what she means by "I can smell you - alive" Another thing that might give it away is the "Long lost words whisper slowly to me" because demons usually whisper to humans as they haunt them. This might not be the actually interpretation, but it's what i got out of it.
GahChelsea Nov 9th, 2009 11:16am report
This song shows major themes of literal abuse, as well as themes of feeling used, unloved, and destroyed. This song has so many literal interpretations that can be drawn from it, concerning rape, betrayal and abuse. If you look at it in a solely figurative way, it can be as simple as something that takes no outside source. The figure that is damaging her so cruelly and completely could be the girl herself. She is detroying herself from the inside out, letting her mind take control and her mental issues take control of her life.
Long lost words whisper slowly to me.
Still can't find what keeps me here.
She cannot reason why she is still stuck in this depravity ruled state. Nothing makes sense to her.
A child that has gone through the intense abuse she is decribing with the inflections in her voice would be confused, panicked and hysteric. Its been so long that these feelings have retreated inside her, she can only wonder why she is still here. The pain is still strong, overpoweringly so, but the desire to remove herself from this place is greater than these other feelings at this point.
When all this time I've been so hollow inside.
I know you're still there.
She acknowledges the fact that the pain and the memories of her abuser, (an outside person or the girl herself) is still overtaking her, controlling her.
I can feel you pull me down.
I won't let you pull me down.
I can smell you.
Your heart pounding in my head.
She feels a connection to this abuser, she can't let them go. Someone important to her, someone she trusted. She cannot trust herself but she cannot let herself go. She cannot overcome this weight holding her down, actively pushing her down. She desires to take control, she push against them, to regain herself and her mind. She resents this person for harming her.
I won't let you pull me down.
This strong ending to the song can draw all the different interpetations I can muster to one end point. She's strongly (in her voice, and in her words) refusing, point blank, to let this happen to her anymore. To let this deterioration of her mind continue until she is destroyed. She will not let this depravity in her soul rip her apart any longer.
She is trapped, this crippling feeling of despair has kept her docile for so long, kept her it prisoner. She lives to destroy this force in her life. But its gone so far that this force is all that defines her, she cannot continue to exist without it. She fears losing it to some extent, not know what would happen without this direction in her life. Once this force goes away, will she cease to exist? She cannot imagine any other possibility, a life after this sickness is not attainable. She has been ruined.
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