What does My Immortal mean?

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Evanescence: My Immortal Meaning

Song Released: 2003


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My Immortal Lyrics

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I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is...

  1. 1TOP RATED

    anonymous
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    Sep 5th, 2007 9:13pm report


    Perhaps some people read a death theme into the lyrics because of the loss of Amy's sister, and mistakenly believing that Amy wrote it. However, feeling the presence of a loved one after death usually brings comfort, not a wish that they'd go away and leave you alone. Nor would death be a reason to resent having been alone "all along." Death generally results in temporary anger over them having left AFTER they die.

    Regardless as to what the original intent of an author is, quite often they will later read something they've written and realize that their subconscious has added multiple levels of meaning to their work. Most artists are aware of the possibilities, no, probabilities of this occurring.

    To me, this song could be about a lover, a friend, a parent, a child, a grandparent...or any other person that is loved but takes or even destroys in return. This story is kind of told in reverse, beginning with her/his feelings and then giving us clues as to "why."

    Most importantly, it seems to be more about losing one's own sense of identity and self-worth due to the loss and/or betrayal of a loved one than about the actual loss of the loved one--in fact, the desire is that the loved one just go away (taking all the painful love and memories with them.)

    "I'm so tired of being here
    Suppressed by all my childish fears"

    She (or he) is emotionally drained and paralyzed by fear--by the end of the lyrics, I'd probably define the fears in terms of the psychological state known as "learned helplessness"

    "And if you have to leave
    I wish that you would just leave
    'Cause your presence still lingers here
    And it won't leave me alone"

    She is constantly tormented by memories he left behind.

    "These wounds won't seem to heal
    This pain is just too real
    There's just too much that time cannot erase"

    He hurt or betrayed her in a way that she can never forget or recover from the emotional damage.

    "When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
    When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
    And I held your hand through all of these years
    But you still have
    All of me"

    Out of love, she sacrificed her life to his well-being and in return, he took her life with him (emotionally/metaphorically) when he left.

    "You used to captivate me
    By your resonating light
    Now I'm bound by the life you left behind"

    She has and always will be imprisoned by him: First it was willingly out of love (captivated by his light); but now she is entrapped by despair (bound by loss and lies)

    "Your face it haunts
    My once pleasant dreams"

    A face she loved (trusted) has incomprehensibley become the face of her tormentor. A dream morphing into a nightmare.

    "Your voice it chased away
    All the sanity in me"

    His words before leaving callously revealed the truth; his deceptions, her delusions, and destroyed her sense of reality.

    "I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
    But though you're still with me
    I've been alone all along"

    She is struggling with the reality that she was all alone in her love when he was with her...and ironically, now that he's left her, she isn't alone: He torments her with the memories of his betrayal (perhaps complicated by her genuine love for who she thought he was.)



  2. 2TOP RATED

    anonymous
    click a star to vote
    Nov 25th, 2006 11:29pm report


    Songwriter, singer, whoever...this song was written/sung from the perspective of someone who cannot get over the loss of a lover who swept her (or him) off her feet ("You used to captivate me...") and later walked away, leaving her devastated. The heartbroken person wanders lost and alone around their once happy home and is constantly bombarded with reminders from the past. ("...if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave 'cause your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone.") She remembers all the times she stood by her loved one ("...I'd wipe away all of your tears...", "...I'd fight away all of your fears...", etc). She is frustrated with herself for still being in love with that person and willing to do anything for him, even though he never really loved her the same way in return ("I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone, but though you're still with me, I've been alone all along.")



  3. 3TOP RATED

    bella dea
    click a star to vote
    Sep 6th, 2005 9:29am report


    "I'm so tired of being here
    Suppressed by all my childish fears
    And if you have to leave
    I wish that you would just leave
    'Cause your presence still lingers here
    And it won't leave me alone"

    This is the pain of watching someone you love die and not be able to do anything about it. Being afraid of losing them, of the pain that comes from losing someone. Watching someone hang on when physically they are there but mentally they are gone.

    "These wounds won't seem to heal
    This pain is just too real
    There's just too much that time cannot erase"

    Expression of human suffering when someone you love dies.


    "When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
    When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
    And I held your hand through all of these years
    But you still have
    All of me"

    She was there for this person, through the pain, the suffereing the fear. She has been there always and even though this person will be gone soon, they still have her whole heart.

    "You used to captivate me
    By your resonating light
    Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
    Your face it haunts
    My once pleasant dreams
    Your voice it chased away
    All the sanity in me"

    Again, this is the mentality of someone watching the one they love die. All she can think about is the times that he was well. She is feeling resentment for still hanging onto these memories. She is feeling angry and sad because she can't let go of the past.

    "I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
    But though you're still with me
    I've been alone all along"

    She is trying to convince herself to let go because she knows that he cannot be with her in any way. And she has felt the burden all alone in this. She wants to let go before he dies but she can't.

    This song is raw emotion about watching someone you love die and not be able to do anything about it. It's feeling sadness, resentment, anger and fear all at the same time.



  4.  

    anonymous
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    Aug 16th, 8:25am report


    It is amazing to read everyone's individual interpretation of this song. It is so touching. Here is my interpretation because this is what is reflected in my life at this time.

    I'm so tired of being here
    Suppressed by all my childish fears

    - I am tired of living in this life of pain.
    I have been haunted by fears I inquired as a child.

    And if you have to leave
    I wish that you would just leave
    'Cause your presence still lingers here
    And it won't leave me alone

    - If my husband needed to leave because he fell in love with someone else, I wish he would have just been honest with me and left. The pain is terrible because in my heart and mind he still is here and I am haunted by constant thoughts about what our lives could have been, especially since we have children. I miss him terribly.

    These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
    There's just too much that time cannot erase
    -I can't accept where our lives have gone and I cant just erase all of the years, memories etc. that we have gone through together.

    When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
    When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
    And I held your hand through all of these years
    -My husband did wipe away my tears and stood by me though out all my hard times.

    But you still have all of me
    You used to captivate me by your resonating light
    Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
    Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
    Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
    There's just too much that time cannot erase
    - I still love you with all my heart. You were the perfect husband and father. However, you are gone and I am struggling with mine and our children's pain because you wanted to be with her. I remember how our lives were when you were here with us. Now all I have are sad dreams. Now that you are gone I can't get over the pain and the fact that you are gone.

    I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
    But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along
    -I have tried so hard to tell myself that you are gone and this is now my reality. However, he is still in my life daily for our kids; but even when he was here I was alone.



  5.  

    anonymous
    click a star to vote
    Aug 16th, 8:51am report


    It is so great to see every ones individual interpretation of this song. It is touching how this song means different things to everyone. I want to give you my perspective of this song. My perspective reflects my current situation.



  6.  

    Angelboo
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    Jun 15th, 2018 6:17am report


    This song is about Army's sister who died at three when she was six. Her death still haunts her.



  7.  

    anonymous
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    Mar 28th, 2018 3:46pm report


    I heard this song on the car radio last night. It was vaguely familiar and I listened to the words and they stabbed me in the heart. My husband died seven years ago, after a three year batte with cancer, always smiling and hopeful through the pain. He was my only love and I carry him with me, but I am so alone.



  8.  

    Skiesofjupiter
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    Oct 1st, 2017 10:00pm report


    This Song Is About Amy Lee Who Lost Her Sister At A Young Age. Lyrically, it talks about "a spirit staying with you after its death and haunting you until you actually wish that the spirit were gone because it won't leave you alone.



  9.  

    anonymous
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    Jul 6th, 2017 7:36pm report


    The song My Immortal makes me think about Grandma Evan's death.



  10.  

    anonymous
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    Jan 4th, 2017 1:11am report


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  11.  

    anonymous
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    Sep 24th, 2016 9:44am report


    "My Immortal," as with many songs, poems, stories, etc. can be about many things, depending on how it moves you. It initially struck me as being about a "dead" relationship, similar to many meanings here. Having seen the official video, I believe the video portrays the loss of a loved one to suicide, and the lyrics are perfectly consistent with this interpretation.

    The "#1 Top Rated" explanation here states, "Nor would death be a reason to resent having been alone 'all along.'"

    I disagree, if that death is a suicide. Suicide can cause loved ones to question everything they thought they knew about the relationship, the person. It can cause one to question ideas thought to be basic truths about people and life itself. For these reasons, it can be especially difficult to move beyond, to accept.

    The lyrics express feelings of betrayal, abandonment, anger, and confusion. I can only imagine that these all must be feelings felt by those left behind by suicide. I can also see a dead relationship causing similar pain. But, again I disagree with the #1 Top Rated explanation, in that I think the portrayal of profound confusion--the allusion to childhood fears, for example--can certainly be the result of a loved one lost to suicide. When everything you thought you knew is so suddenly and violently thrown into question, a retreat to that childhood "learned helplessness" seems almost inevitable.

    Amy Lee wears bandages around her wrists in the video. The camera highlights this, so it does not seem accidental.



  12.  

    anonymous
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    Apr 20th, 2016 4:00am report


    I think it's about losing your first innocent love.
    I'm so tired of being here, supressed by all my childish fears (She's afraid of loving again after her heart was broken)
    And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave, cause your prescence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone (She's trying to forget him, but she can't)
    These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real, there's just too much that time cannot erase (Referring to the heartbreak she suffered when he left her) When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
    When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
    And I held your hand through all of these years (It was one of those 'Die for each other' kind of loves) But you still have all of me (No matter how much she hates him, she'll always love him, and be there for him if he needs her) You used to captivate me by your resonating light
    Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind (She feels as if her choice for a first love reshaped her, and she's stuck with this new person she thinks he turned her into)
    Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
    Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
    (She's taking her first breakup pretty seriously, as is expected) I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone (She secretly hopes that he'll take her back)
    But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along



  13.  

    anonymous
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    Feb 5th, 2015 2:16am report


    This song is about an abused person who grew up to have a child with an abuser who they loved deeply and tried very hard to please. Abused children who grow to adults hate to be alone and try hard to hang on to what little love they can. They find it hard to trust new people.
    (I am so tired of being here. Suppressed by all my childish fears)
    Each day raising that child reminds them of the abuser they still love. Being torn between the love they feel for the abuser and the love for their child, the fear of being alone. They know the abuser has to leave the house but the abuser because of the child has to stay in their life forever.
    (And if you have to leave
    I wish that you would just leave
    Cause your presence still lingers here
    and it won't leave me alone

    The memories of the once good love and the memories of the abuse not only bring back the abuse he/she took from the abuser and possible the child’s abuse but the abuse they took as a child.
    (These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
    there’s just too much that time cannot erase)

    Because abusers are so needy they need a lot of time and attention. Being abused made him/her submit to taking care of the abuser for years. While tired of the abuse the abused continues to love the abuser.

    (When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
    When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
    And I held your hand through all of these years
    But you still have all of me)


    Remembering the beginning of the relationship and the fact that the Child (life left behind) binds them together and she/he must deal with the abuser when it concerns the child. And being so torn with the hate/love issue she/he is losing their mind with the inner power struggle.
    (You used to captivate me by your resonating light
    Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
    your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
    your voice it chased away all the sanity in me)



  14.  

    crazygamerchix
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    Oct 3rd, 2014 10:42pm report


    The song is about somebody who has lost someone close to them and their presence is tormenting them, making the depression worse, and that they just can't get over this loss.



  15.  

    anonymous
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    Sep 17th, 2014 9:57pm report


    This song was written by Ben Moody about his grandmother. He's mentioned this in many a interview.



  16.  

    anonymous
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    Jun 17th, 2014 6:03am report


    its about her sister spirit and amy wants her sister to move on and not stay hear. tell her sister that when she died she had pain and it wont heal.and that all the memories that amy had of her sister can't be erased. Every time she hears her sister cried she was their and every time her sister was afraid she tried to comfort her. Even though her sister is dead she is reminding her sister that she still has her.every time she heard her sister's voice she goes crazy or when she sees her sister's face it still haunts her. then repeats what she says .then she said tat she tries to tell her self that her sister is not hear anymore .



  17.  

    anonymous
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    May 31st, 2014 5:10am report


    I found in this song the words my heart felt but my brain was unable to define after the suicide of my son's father. He battled undiagnosed depression throughout his teen years. I did what I knew how to do to try to help, but I was struggling myself. The presence of him that lingers is the guilt of wondering if you did all you could or God forbid, make it worse. The one question every suicide victim's loved ones is haunted by everyday.....WHY???? My son is now almost a man.....I am bound by the life he helped create but chose to leave behind......His eyes and most other features are his father's. Though my son brings me such joy, I will be haunted by his father for as long as I am alive. Everytime I look in his eyes, its his father looking back at me...almost 18a years now, and he still has all of me that matters...



  18.  

    anonymous
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    Apr 13th, 2014 4:48pm report


    I have listened to this a thousand times trying to find its meanings. To me this is about the two faces of a person with depression. There is always the part of a depressed one that wants to be happy and live life with some joy and there is the other side that has always made that person alone and seeing the dark side no matter how strongly the "normal" side tries to leave the depression behind. The classic battle of dark and light, both in one person. It sure fit that life's application for me..



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